To go to the beach (which is at the end of the road) I need to take the following: a portable sun lounger; factor 20 sun lotion; my Kindle; a large (yet never quite large enough) towel; my x-generation i-pod; my mobile phone; an elegant waterproof watch; a hat; my goggles; my ear plugs; my keys; a T-shirt; colourful yet restrained shorts; sandals and money - because, if nothing else, I am my mother’s son and the idea of going absolutely anywhere without money is something which all my maternal training revolts at.  And contact lenses of course.  Thus casually prepared I am ready to hit the sand.  And a camera.  I forgot that.  

I have two photographic aims in life.  The first is to take a decent picture of fireworks and the second, and much more difficult with our irritatingly unruffled sea, is to take a stirring picture of a wave.

I also forget that my mobile phone can take pictures.  But the pixel rating of the mobile phone camera is witheringly low; I am not convinced that my real cameras (note the plural) can take photos at that low a resolution!

Toni is unnecessarily dismissive of the sheer amount of stuff that I need to lay (Oh, and a bathing costume, I forgot to add that to the list) simply and demurely in the sunshine within a stone’s throw of the house.  Well, I like my creature comforts and I know what I need, so there!

Toni is, however also the cause of my probably taking even more “stuff” to the beach.

On a visit to Sitges we went to Lidl (A German supermarket, my lord, where the advantageous prices charged are a brave attempt to get looters to consider paying for their consumer durables rather than acquiring them to the sound of tinkling glass) and he noticed “self-inflating airbeds” which would be easier to carry to the beach and make lying on the sand so much more pleasant.

To me, “self-inflating” would be pretty far along the “against-the-law-of-god” scale.  Anything that useful could not possibly work; and if it did work then the Black Arts would have to be fairly heavily involved.  Surely!

Cheerfully ignoring our moral scruples we bought one each with the stated intention of “taking them straight back if they don’t work” to justify their purchase.

These things come rolled and, unrolled they look like very thin, very flat airbeds.  They have valves on one corner which when turned anti-clockwise produce a very, very subdued whoosh (if such a thing is possible) and very, very gradually the wrinkles on the surface of the “bed” disappear and it magically inflates to its full one and a half inches of comfort for the sleeper.  It does work.

We have worked out that there must be some form of honeycombed foam inside which compressed is without air and when allowed to expand draws in air to fill its structure, air which can be trapped by the turning of a valve.

We haven’t actually tried them out yet, as the instructions state that it is advisable to allow them to lie with the valve open “overnight” to give the foam a chance to expand to its full potential.

I have to be fair and say that I am sure that it is going to be more comfortable stretched out on the “Fun Camp” (sic) self-inflating bed than on a towel directly on the sand.  But the extent that it is better and more comfortable remains to be seen.  So far, we are merely amazed by it doing what its USP indicated!

I think that I will be taking it as well as the sun lounger, thus with all my “stuff” making me appear more like somebody coming to colonize the beach rather than lay on it!  I can always run my patriotic shorts up the flagpole and claim the beach for Wales!

Lunch was in town and in a restaurant which had toasted bread, garlic, tomatoes and aioli on the table.  All of which was charged for in the final bill.  We only had one course because the menu del dia has been suspended because today is the start of our Festa Major or our annual celebrations and fiesta.  One course and a drink and we ended up paying something like €13 each!  Such a rip off – even if our food was excellent!

Significantly at 11.00 pm tonight we have my photographic bête noire, fireworks.  I will, of course, try again and attempt to take a decent picture.  I am at a great disadvantage because my usual approach to seeing fireworks is to gape, open mouthed in wonder and take no photographs at all.  I shall do my best.  And use the new camera which does have a “firework” setting – though in my experience these settings do little or nothing in helping take an adequate photograph.  

Still I am ever the optimist and I always believe that “this time it will be different”.  Bless!