The Price of Exercise

 

 

 

“You know that the pool is closed?”  Was the question that greeted me this morning as I waited to get into the centre just before 8 am.  Yes, indeed I did know that the pool was closed and I was about to begin my via dolorosa of gym use for the next three weeks.

     As I went through my selected series of exercises, I was interrupted by a number of acquaintances who questioned my presence, with a smile it must be added.  And they sympathised with me as I explained the extra time that the gym would be closed.  And if anything their smiles grew wider.

     The interesting thing is why I am bothering to go to the gym.  The choice is mine after all.  I can choose to do something else for the next few weeks and not moan about doing something for which I have, to put it mildly, little enthusiasm.

     Why I do it is all down to self-knowledge.  I enjoy swimming.  I like the difference that water gives, it is a different element, and moving through water is not the same a moving through air.  When you have suspect knees then the support that water gives allows you to glide – an experience that is unique to the element.  I am also able to do my exercises that are supposed to strengthen my knees and the muscles that support my new bits!

     There are some that enjoy hard physical exercise and thrive on the pain that comes with pushing oneself to the limits of physical endurance.  I am not one of those people, and I look for an easy life.  Generally.  So, left to my own devices I would probably let exercise slide and do my mental exercises inside the pages of a good book.

     Having an early morning swim, getting up at 5.45 am, takes effort.  If that effort can be integrated into a regime then all the better, habits are difficult to shake off, the trick is doing something enough (if it is an effort) to make it into a habit.

     When I played squash I was a member of a squash league at my local leisure centre, that meant that I ‘had’ to play a certain number of games each month or I would be relegated.  It is the same methodology that keeps me doing a Duolingo exercise each day as I do not want to be relegated from the arbitrary league that the program has placed me in, and which encourages me to participate offering electronic digital inducements to keep myself applied.  We all need those incentives to keep us in line, because so few of us are real self-motivators.

     When I was in Cardiff, I used to swim early morning and after school.  After a day in work, virtually the last thing on my mind was calling into the David Lloyd Centre on my way home for a swim, and I spent the greater part of the journey home debating whether or not I really wanted to go for a swim.  Often that question was answered by the fact that I ‘found’ myself in the David Lloyd car park, while my internal debate was still going on.  Location trumping questioning!

     In a similar way, I go for a swim ‘most days a week’, it is a habit and I wake up at the appropriate time and get ready before I am fully awake!  It is built into the system that is me.  But, I also know that were I to break that system then the whole edifice of exercise will come tumbling down.  So, just because the pool is closed (other pools, and the sea are available) I know that I have to keep up the routine, even if it means going to the gym.

      One problem of gym going, as I found this morning, is that there is a different list of things that you must take to make the experience enjoyable and hygienic.  I forgot to pack another shirt ,and so I had to wear the soiled garment in which I exercised when I went for my cup of tea – luckily outside!

     And I learned my lesson.  Even though I liberally dowsed myself in Citronella, my sweat infused T-shirt attracted more than the usual tribe of blood sucking mozzies as punishment for my lack of preparedness.

   Tomorrow (Day 2 – only 20 to go, sigh!) I Will Be Prepared, and I will take a more potent repellent for fight off the desperation of the latter-part-of-the-summer insect life.

 

The sleep of reason produces monsters!

 

 

 

This particular time in early September is a date I dread.

     This is not because of any lingering horror of being a teacher and the inevitable quoting of the deathless line in Wordsworth, “shades of the prison house begin to form Upon the growing boy” which seemed to me to work for pupils as well as teachers approaching a new year, and I have thought and quoted it through my life – right up until retirement.  From retirement onwards the metaphor of the “prison house” takes on a rather more terminal meaning that merely getting a new timetable!

     No, the dread here is the annual closing of the swimming pool for its “Essential Maintenance”.  This usually means a fortnight of closure which in the past I have compensated for by using other pools in Castelldefels and Gava, using the community pool, and swimming in the sea.

     The community pool and the sea are free, but the other options come with complications.  As I no longer use my bike thanks to the element of instability that my new knees have gifted me, I need to take the car and park, and in some cases the distance from the pool that a vacant parking space offers itself, I might as well as walked from home!  That is not strictly true, but a long walk is something that I do not relish, and neither do my knees.  There is also the cost of swimming in another pool.  A one-off swim is expensive, so you need to buy a season ticket or a multi-swim card and that is all a bit of a faff.  So I look for alternatives.

     For the last couple of years during this time of enforced dryness, I have reasoned that as I pay a subscription to my swimming pool and gym, I should really take advantage of the latter and use the various machines that are dotted around the torture area assigned to those who like to sweat.

     As I vividly remember asking one attendant at a gym in Cardiff to “walk me though” a reasonable workout regime – and not being able to move a muscle without exquisite pain the next morning, I now take things relatively easy.  When you are a swimmer, you take for granted the cushioning and supportive elements of the water in what you regard as fairly hard exercise.  When you transfer that level of effort to the air, the gravitational drag on muscles is rather different.

     Therefore, when I go to the gym, I have a Survival in Relative Comfort approach to the machines which, to my eyes all look like instruments of torture.  I start with the static cycle, especially one machine that has real back support, I then move on to some sort of knee bend thingie where the weight that you push is adjustable by the use of weights.  I always check where the rod in the weights is situated before I start, because once or twice I have started without looking and almost popped my knees with the astonishing heaviness that some people take in their stride.  I then move on to the rowing machine and end up with a gentle walk on the treadmill.

     There are variations in the order and selection of machines because sometimes the ones I want are occupied so I have to improvise with the schedule.  Some machines I do not use because I have yet to work out how one threads one’s body into to them to get them to work.  You might well say, just look at how other people use them and then emulate.  Which is good advice, though I have also noticed that the more professional users have their own individual variations in how they utilize the various flanges and bits of the machines – and given the way that their bodies look with triple layer muscles, I do not intend to match their exertions, even in my imagination let alone in what I like to call “real life”.

     There is obviously an overlap between gym and pool, though there is a distinct sub-species of masochist that concentrates solely on the gym, and usually specializes in an area I never walk in (let alone participate in) the area of the Free Weights.  This is the area that has a mirror wall so that the sufferers can watch their pain.  Each to his (and it is usually ‘his’) own.

     I would imagine that tomorrow, for my first visit to the gym there will be some people that I am on ¡Hola! Level acquaintanceship with who will in various ways question why I am there, when most of them will have seen me (there is a row of machines with a view of the pool) ploughing my lonely (if I’m lucky) furrow up and down ‘my’ lane.

     I am an early morning user of the pool and there are a number of regulars in the pool and the gym who I tend to assume are the ‘users’ of the facilities, but I really fail to understand that there are many more people who have a different timetable from me and so there are layers of ‘ownership’ of various aspects of the pool and gym that are time sensitive.

     It’s like a Sci-Fi story I read that described an over-populated world in which your life was lived according to a particular day, so that if you were a Monday person, you would live your active life on a Monday and then go into suspended animation for a week, until on the following Monday you would be revived and assume that you were in day two of your particular week.*  So, in the pool and gym there are people who would not consider using the facilities at the time that I use them and vice versa.

    The few times that I have swum out of my time I have been confused by the differences in clientele almost as if it was a different place.

     Well, for the next three (sic.) weeks I will be changing my habits and (resentfully) following a different path. 

     Life is hard sometimes.  But at least I’m not teaching!

*Philip José Farmer's “The Sliced-Crosswise Only-On-Tuesday World” (1971). 

 

Time is a-fleeting!

 

 

 

This was morning was a lazy one.  The mobile alarm went off to indicate that it was time for me to get ready for my early morning swim and I rejected its peremptory tone, as I rejected the beeping from my watch.  There are some mornings where to stay in bed is simply more convincing that going to the local pool.

     However, that does mean that I feel the accusation of a version of the Protestant Work Ethic about something I have not done that I ought to have done, and there is no health in me - once learned, the language of the Anglican Book of Common Prayer (old style) does not leave you – even if your faith does.

     It does mean however, that if I fail to do my lengths, I have to do something to justify my indolence.  This does not entail my going out into the world and doing good works, but rather thinking about getting one (or fewer) outstanding tasks done.

     When you are retired, how you fill your days (apart from the necessary elements of ordinary life like shopping, eating and cleaning) are pretty much up to you.  Which means that success and completion are very much yours for the interpretation.  If you decide that one of the major elements in a satisfyingly filled day is the writing of this blog, then who is to gainsay your achievement!

     In talking to a colleague who has returned from holiday and is about to start a new term in the school that is next to the pool, she vouchsafed to me that my commiserations were falling on deaf ears because she was “looking forward to the routine” that a timetable offers.

     While intellectually I can understand such sentiments, I cannot sympathise with them.  I fall into the category of teachers who say of retirement, “I cannot understand how I ever found time to teach” given the way that elements in their retired lives fill up their days.

     It is very often a case of “in place of” superseding “as well as” in the dynamics of a retired life.  I often give the example of trying to deal with things external to school when I was in teaching.  You have a timetable and a number of free periods with breaks and lunch.  If you need to phone an outside agency, then you have to wait for an opportunity in your timetabled day and do it then.  If you need a response, then you have to tell the people you are dealing with that you will only be able to respond withing a fairly tight clock-defined period of time.  If they phone later than say 11.35 am, you will not be available because you will be teaching.  Few outside agencies seemed to understand the constraints on your free access to communication and were mystified when a call at 11.45 am went unanswered.  Admittedly this was in the era pre-mobile phone use, but the principle is still the same.

     Similarly, medical appointments had to be fitted into a school day that caused the least difficulties for colleagues and teaching periods, whereas now in my retired state I turn up when they ask and other things take second place.

     The set elements in my timetable are concerts, opera, family events, and medical appointments.  As if to demonstrate this, I have just checked my phone and there is a message from my dentist saying that I need to make an appointment.  To be fair, there is an element of choice in this appointment, I can suggest a range of times and days and the dentist is usually accommodating.

    My appointments with doctors are less flexible.  I am now firmly fixed in the automatic schedule of appointments and follow-up consultations, and I am far too grateful to the Catalan medical system to suggest alternatives.  Luckily by concerts and operas are all at the weekend, so they never interfere with the doctor appointments.  The medical establishment in this country has been more than generous with their time and expertise and so the very least I can do is fit in with their arrangements and express gratitude.  This is one occasion when I appreciate the force and necessity of an automatically generated timetable for diagnosis and follow-up supervision.

     I weave my interests around the distractions that play fast and loose with my determination.  But I am aware of what I should be doing and I understand that there is more than enough of what I could call ‘work’ if I cared to, but which is in reality me exploiting my freedom to do pretty much as I like with the time that is not now taken up by paid employment.

     I like to think that I do not waste my time, though the use to which I put it, might be considered individualistic, to put it mildly. 

      But it keeps me off the streets and harms few!  Surely that is a life being well spent!

 

Surviving Time

 

 

 

During one University vacation, I was in my parents’ house and debating what to do about getting some extra cash.  In talking with my parents, I said that other students had suggested going to the Labour Exchange, (Job Centre) failing to find a job and then claiming some sort of social security money.  My father said that was tantamount to theft.  If there was a job I should take it and not try and “work the system”.

     So, off I went for the first time in my life and entered a Labour Exchange.  I cannot pretend that my reception was anything less than frosty, but one question they asked was revealing, “Do you actually want a job?”  Which suggested that they usually processed vacationing students with the minimum of delay, assuming all students were workshy and looking for a handout!  I protested that I did actually want a job.  They said that they would let me know.

     By the time that I got home, the Labour Exchange had phoned up, and my father told me that I would be working in a bakery, and that my shift started at 10 pm that night! 

     I had never previously worked in a bakery or in any sort of factory, and I had never done a night shift.  It was a baptism of fire.

     I was put on a bread production line, and I did the sort of mechanical job that one assumed would be better done by a machine: I picked up pre-cut slabs of dough and put them in tins.  That was it.  After a couple of minutes instruction, I was doing the ‘job’ as competently as someone who had worked there for twenty years.  It was intensely boring, but you couldn’t lose concentration because the convey belt production of dough was inexorable and you had to dela with it.

     The best part of my shift was towards the end of it (surprise!) when instead of dolloping dough I helped stack the bread tins and was able to talk to a young under-manager.  This was the highpoint of my work and the time I looked forward to!  Which is sad on a number of levels.

     However, we are taking of the days when low paid jobs were numerous and it was possible to leave one and go into another with no real fear of being jobless for an extended period of time – even for we students who were only looking for a few weeks’ employment.

     Because we were there for a relatively short time, it did mean that you could stand just about anything because you knew it was time limited: This Too Will Pass, was the every ready motto to keep frustrated students focussed on the pay-packet, and not the intellectual worth of what they were doing to get it.

     Only one vacation job was impossible to continue, and if I tell you that the most interesting and satisfying element of this open-office vicious tedium-inducing torture was going through thousands of receipts and taking out all the ones with a small asterisk in the right corner, it will perhaps give you a sense of the bone-crushing awfulness of the work.

     I can’t say that I enjoyed any of my vacation jobs, though there were sometimes episodes or moments that were good, and, after all, all experience is valuable – even if it’s negative.

     The job that paid the best (with paid overtime as well!) was when I was employed as a platelayer on the internal railway inside East Moors Steel Works, in Cardiff.  A job, I might add, for which I was almost entire unfitted, but did my best.

     This job came back to me because we are now in the early days of September and I have been watching the return of teachers who troop through the café next to the swimming pool to get their coffees before turning the corner and walking towards the school where they teach.

     It is the start of a new school year and there a spring in their steps and an unalloyed enthusiasm as they greet colleagues that they have not seen for the duration of the summer holidays, that will barely last a day before the reality of the hard slog to Christmas forces itself on the consciousness.

     There has been much talk in the news about the retirement age and how the number of years before a full pension is awarded seem to be creeping upward.  Figures like 65 – 66 – 67 are quoted before a pension is paid!  Being a classroom teacher until you are 67 or older!  That is tantamount to a death sentence!

     As has been said, “Teaching has the peculiar problem that the pupils stubbornly remain the same age while the teacher doesn’t.”  Raising pension ages makes actuarial sense when people live longer, but it doesn’t follow that every occupation remains equally sustainable at 65-67.

     The trouble with teaching is that classroom teaching is classroom teaching, with all the stresses and strains that dealing with large classes bring.  There is no real shortcut to being a professional teacher.

     But, it seems to me that making a teacher work until the age of 67 or, God forbid, even older is not fair either on the teacher, nor on the pupils.

    What are the possibilities for teachers outside the classroom?  Administration is allowed for with an extra allocation of free periods within a teaching timetable.  Pastoral Care, being a head of year or similar, again there may be more free periods, but most heads of year also have a teaching timetable as well.  Senior Management Team – apart from the headteacher, most have a teaching timetable.

     So, if you are a subject teacher, and you want to survive until you reach retirement age and enjoy some sort of life after the magic date, what can you do?  Your options are limited and there is no clear progression from a demanding teaching timetable in the classroom to something that allows you to remain in the profession but to thrive and develop outside the classroom.

     Back to my plate laying days in the steel works.  There was one guy who was well advanced in years, but he was still part of the team that laid track, transported it, used drills and hammers to do hard physical work, but there was an understanding that he would not be asked to do certain things and some of his duties involved oiling the points in the rails that meant that he carried a pot of oil and a long brush and make sure that things were lubricated properly.  From time to time, he did do physical work, but I noted that he used the minimum amount of effort in a masterclass of conservation of energy, in stark comparison to the younger and their more gung-ho physicality.  He bobbed along, playing his part, but not doing the hardest of graft, but justifying his position.

     In teaching we need the equivalent of “oiling the points” so that older colleagues can survive and thrive.

 

Telling Trivia

 

 

 

It’s the little things in life that keep you grounded.  Those objects, habits, sounds and tastes that are significant to you, and let you know the you, you think you are, is still the you that is.

     Grounded, yes.  But also, those little unimportant things can be a threat and a restraint if jolted from their accustomed places by being denied.

     Take, for example, the shower in the changing room of a swimming pool.  When I first started using the swimming pool that I go to for my early morning swim each day, the changing room was not very different from the changing room I used when, for one afternoon a week, I had to traipse from my school in Cardiff to the sports ground that we used - a long walk, or a short bus ride away. 

      We used The Harlequins Ground, as my secondary school was set in concrete and had no playing fields,  The Quins had been opened in 1892, it was one of the first multi-sport facilities in Cardiff, serving the residents of the eastern side of the city and situated on the northern side of the Newport Road, and to the south of the suburb of Roath.  This is where my school played Rugby in the winter, and Cricket in the summer.

     I have no fond memories of this place at all.  As a tall boy, I was placed in the second row in rugby at the age of eleven, and there I stayed for all of my time in the school – hating every game that I played.  The fact that my father was, in his day, an excellent rugby player and even played for the Possibles against the Probables for inclusion in the Welsh National Side, made my loathing of participation so much worse, and an on-going guilty secret.

     I’m not sure that I ever did enough during the games themselves to make a shower a justified ending to the torture, but just scrumming down was exhausting for me, and so a shower was at least relaxing and painless.

     The showers were communal and usually hot, so we didn’t have to experience the bracing denial of comfort via icy showers, that seemed to be an essential ingredient in all those public-school stories that were popular at the time.  And since my school, although a state secondary, had a timetabled session on a Saturday morning – we had pretentions in that direction!

     So, the showers of my youth and those of the pool here in Castelldefels were similar with the exception of the water flow.  In my youth you turned the shower on, waited for the water to get warm, showered, and then turned it off.  In Castelldefels the showers were time limited.  You pressed a button in, adjusted the water mixture and showered, while re-pressing the button as necessary to complete your ablutions.

     The trick in communal showers was choosing the shower with the longest water flow, as each of the showers had its own peculiarities.

     Given that I had an early swim, it usually meant that when I decided to leave the water, I would enter a generally empty changing room and therefore the choice of shower was mine to make.  I cannot remember now if it was the second from the left or the third from the right that was the ‘sweet spot’ of watery abundance, but I can still retexture my frustration if somebody else had got to ‘my’ shower before me.  And it took all of the calming power of my post-swim cup of tea to bring my anger level back to containability.

     The communal showers are long gone.  Our changing room underwent a radical make-over and it is hard to remember what the ur-changing rooms looked like.  Our little sauna (closed during the Covid outbreak) never really reopened and was lost in the reworking.  We had swish looking lockers installed, stylish lighting, new loos, and a series of individual cubicle shower stalls.

     In theory all of these stalls are identical, but they are not.  Because of the physical demands of the space, not all the stalls are of the same size and shape, though they look identical from the outside.  The shower heads are of the circular ‘rainfall’ type, the temperature of the water is centrally controlled, and the water flow is regulated by a push button.  There is a shower soap dispenser in each cubicle.

     After a period of research, trying a different stall each day, searching for the elusive ‘extra seconds’ of water from a single push, I settled on the third cubicle on the right (they are divided into two groups of five) and was content.

     It was with something of a shock that I turned into ‘my’ cubicle one day to find that a digital display thermometer had been added to the stem of the shower pipe just above the shower head.  From a slow start the temperature went upwards, changing colour as it did so, until it reached a satisfactory warmth and turned green – the thermometer read out, not the water.

     As I was the only one in the showers at the time, I checked the other stalls, and ‘my’ shower was the only one with a thermometer.

     I have since worked out some sort of reason for this.  People are paranoid about the temperature of water.  Not only of the showers, but also of the pool – and most of the time those who care about these things do not believe the ‘official’ temperature, which for the water is posted in daily reports on the stairs up to the pool.  There are also complaints about the warmth of the showers, and I think that the installation of a single thermometer was to give proof positive that the temperature was as was stated.

     Which is not to say that all the water flow, duration and temperature are the same in all of the cubicles.  Again, after a lengthy period of research I can report that the fifth cubicle on the left (the one nearest to the external pipes) is the one with the greatest flow of water and the highest temperature.  The time limit is not great, but I have developed the technique of showering with a fairly constant pressure applied on the button to ensure maximum coverage and comfort!

     And woe betide any user who dares to usurp my rights of proprietorship over it!  That is the sort of small thing that, usurped by somebody else, can ruin my day!

 

Do we get what we pay for? Do we?

 

 

 

Mondays and Fridays are the going-out-for-lunch days for us.  A sacred ritual.  And usually, an enjoyable one.

     Castelldefels is a seaside tourist resort that partially sells itself on being a centre of gastronomy.  We even have a school of gastronomy, though the alumni of that institution do not often seem to find work in Castelldefels given the people that we see cooking and waiting in the restaurants that we patronise - but that is another whole kettle of social, political and economic fish, so to speak, and I have no intention of getting into the minutiae of how the commercial logic of providing food works out in this place!  We have often tried to understand the logic behind the way that many of the restaurants operate in Castelldefels and have given up at the obvious levels of more-than-Byzantine complexity that seem to govern how and when they open and what and how much they charge for what they provide.

     We have our favourites, but we also have a strict system of punishments ready to be applied to restaurants that we feel fall short of what we, as paying customers, have a right to expect.

     We are not unreasonable, and we know that everywhere has the occasional off-day and we are prepared to accommodate a sub-par meal and put it down to experience, but two or three strikes – and out!

     The holiday season is particularly difficult as personnel take their annual leave and sometimes that has a drastic effect on the quality of the food being dished up, as well as the level of service.  We make allowances, but there is a limit and that limit has been reached by a few of the restaurants to which we used to go regularly and now are punishing, by striking them off our list of Acceptable Establishments.

     A recent case in point: one restaurant that was a regular haunt of ours, we went to fairly late in the lunch service, as I had picked up Toni from his work experience in Terrassa and driven back to Castelldefels.  Yes, we were late, and the lunch service was almost (almost) over, but that did not excuse the quality of the meal that we were given.  I can (famously) eat anything and suffer few consequences from indulgence; Toni’s tum is a different creature altogether and, where I felt a little uncomfortable after the meal, having said that the food tasted “a little odd”, Toni was positively ill, and not just for one day.

     We have never, and will never, go back.

     When I first arrived in this country I thought that the menu del dia was one of the greatest inventions on earth.  The price was exceptional, and the range of food that was offered, constantly delighted me.

     Times have changed.  My tastes are much more educated in what certain dishes could taste like, so what I would have thought wonderful some years ago is now met with disappointment.  Don’t get me wrong, I still think that the menu del dia is a good deal (though the price has crept and jumped up over the years) and, at the price, with wine, it is almost impossible to match anywhere in my native land.  But . . .

     The original idea of the menu del dia was something devised to meet the burgeoning tourist trade in the Costa Brava in the late 50’s and early 60’s.  For a reasonable price tourists could get a lunch which comprised, a local soup, a meat or fish course, and a piece of seasonal fruit.  A three-course meal for not a lot of money, perfect for the cheap holidays that were being sold on the British market – hence my uncle, aunt, mother, father and I, having a fortnight’s holiday in Tossa de Mar on the Costa Brava in 1958.  The concept was popular, not only with tourists, but also with the local population and the meals developed into an institution enjoyed by all.

     The ‘problem’ with the menu del dia is what is provided, and who the caterers think is going to eat it.  There are ‘simple’ local dishes that have been served for generations that are inexpensive and, if done properly, with fresh ingredients, delicious.  Too often such simplicity is lost in an attempt to produce showy food at a low price, that may look good in the inexplicable photos that people take of food but does not taste good in the mouth – which is surely the important bit.

     Cheap cuts of meat can be delicious.  Sheep’s jaw and cheek, doesn’t sound appetising (especially when served with visible teeth still in the jaw) but it is a revelation of sweet, tender meat when you eat it.  Nowadays the recognizable parts of the jaw are removed and all you get is an everyday-looking bone with meat that falls from it.  Cheap, excellent and usually my choice for a main meal if offered.

     In a time of rising prices and stagnant wages, I can understand the need to be economic in the food choices that a restaurant offers for its menu del dia, but there are many Catalan choices that are not offered because the chefs are not local, or they can’t be bothered to adopt the 0Km philosophy and stick with locally produced meat and veg.

     We are usually satisfied with what we are offered, but I would much rather be impressed by a clever use of local produce and decent cooking!

    

 

Stay in your lane!

 

 

 

Last night was not a good one.

     Incipient back ache developed during the night into one of those pains that while it wasn’t truly bad, it was bad enough to preclude the possibility of sleep.  And whatever position you choose, it is never the right one for any length of time.

     It reminded me of the horror (there really is no other word that captures it) that comes with trying to sleep in a horizontal position after having a complete knee replacement.  At its worst, my ‘sleep’ was limited to ten minutes from the time of hitting the mattress – not that’s not the right word, getting onto the bed was a tortuously slow process, as was getting up again – and giving up.

     Salvation during that period came from the reclining chair in the living room.  Although the foot rest part of the reclining process was never long enough to accommodate my height, it did allow me to adopt a three-quarter’s prone position that allowed at least fitful sleep – the sort that only occurs through exhaustion.

     What worked once for knees was pressed (literally with the reclining switch) into service for the back.  And to be fair, it did, sort of work.  The pain was still there, but it was almost like a ‘noises off’ effect and it allowed something approaching unconsciousness – a state I would not equate with real sleep.

     Because I go for a swim every morning during the week at 6.30 am, I am programmed to wake early and, even though the pool does not open until 8.00 am on the weekends, my internal body alarm does not differentiate, and I wake up at 5.45 am.

     Which I did this morning, and that gave me one and a half hours to debate with myself whether or not it might be a good thing to go for a swim or simply to stay at home, as, after a few tentative stretches it demonstrated that the pain in my back was still there.

     Eventually, I decided to go, as I reasoned that the water is supportive and I could adapt, tailor and truncate my pool activity to fit my pain threshold.

     The reality when I got into the pool showed that my decision not to skip a session was correct.  Not one of the exercise or stokes was so painful that it could not be done, and so I ended up completing a fairly normal session, with one or two of my exercises extended as I felt that the stretching might be beneficial.

     I cannot say that my swim has helped lessen the pain, which vividly reminds me of its presence when I move in certain ways, but I tell myself that I have exercised, and I have done my stretches, and so, even if I cannot feel the benefits immediately, it will help in the long run.  And in the short run there is the ever-present help of Paracetamol and pungent smelling unguent.  And looking at those two words ‘pungent’ and ‘unguent’ there must be some sort of linguistic link, that I am far too lazy to look up.

     Anyway, none of the above is the point that I set out to write about.  If you are in pain and the drugs and creams have had little effect, then you search for other ways to lessen the affliction.  And the swimming pool offers many.

     Ever since Covid our 25m swimming pool has been roped off into five lanes, and there is a booking system so that the lanes do not get overfull.  In theory each lane can take three swimmers as long as they swim in circles, or rather squashed ellipses.  This system depends on the three swimmers understanding the speed of the people sharing the lane and make due allowances, for example, allowing a stronger swimmer to overtake from time to time.  In theory this system works well.  In theory.

     In practice lanes are jealously guarded and any perfectly reasonable sharing is regarded more as an invasion.

     For example, I swim in lane 1, or lane 5, depending on how you look at it.  I have chosen (!) this lane because there is a hydraulic chair which lowers me into the water and the ladder that accompanies the equipment is particularly difficult to use.  With my two wonky knees I feel that I am more than entitled to use this ingress and egress, and I further feel that such a flamboyant entry surely entitles me to enjoy the lane in splendid isolation – and anyone sharing the lane will have to contend with the steps that jut out into the water and make a straight line difficult to keep.

     Although the basic stokes of swimming are well known, you only must compare two people swimming say crawl to see that their approach to the stroke is different.  In some cases, it is difficult to say with any confidence what particular official version of the common crawl or breaststroke that they are using.  The position of the hands, the length of the stroke, the turn of the head, the time underwater, the breathing, and the use of the legs and feet make an individual’s technique just that, individual.

     And then there is the amount of space that a person takes up when executing their brand of stroke.  The lanes are delimited by floats, they are, by definition, floating.  There is no separation vertically from the floats to the floor of the pool, only observation and consideration keep flailing hands, arms and feet inside the imaginary boundaries of an individual’s lane.

     Crawl is usually (just about) contained within the body’s width – though I have seen some versions of crawl where it is impossible to tell the difference between that and energetic drowning.  Breaststroke goes well outside the body’s width and if you are swimming your squashed ellipse in a lane with three swimmers and are near the floats then your hands and feet are almost certainly going to make your swimming into a contact sport.

     And then there is butterfly.  The sine qua non of selfishness in communal swimming – apart from one extraordinary occurrence I witnessed of a person swimming a width of backstroke when everyone else was swimming lengths!

     So, to lessen the paint of my backache I observed the tensions, the threats and the resentments that are inevitable when people seek to join an already crowded pool.

     As I start and end my session with a series of exercises based on the instructions from the physio who saw me through the first awful weeks after my operation, I have the opportunity to watch various dramas unfold with the barely concealed distate of people who think they are being hard done by.

     And it works.  I was more concerned about the human drama swimming around me than the pain tickling my back!