It is finished?

In ‘Ghosts’ the orphanage is not insured because the clergyman involved in the building of it says that insurance is a denial of the grace of God. It burns down of course. Well, what would you expect from Ibsen? Not exactly slapstick.

In spite of the clear lesson from ‘Ghosts’ we (Paul Squared and I) decided to adopt the approach of the clergyman in ‘Ghosts’ in our attempts to repair the wind ravaged fence. We measured one panel and assumed that the grace of God would ensure that the others were of the same size. It wasn’t of course. Well, what would you expect?

We now have a slightly overlapping fence. I think it is an exciting feature of the garden that makes it stand out from the more quotidian examples surrounding us with their level, matching and smoothly continuous fencing. It’s a selling feature.

The rebuilding of the fence has been a revelation about the ways of builders. Paul and I have spent more time going from shop to shop buying some essential item in the reconstruction, then, a little later going back to get some more because we had not estimated usage correctly. We found that drill bits are frisky little things which constantly strive for freedom and shyly hide away from humans. We now know that paint, whatever its consistency, whatever claims are made for it; does not cover in one coat and always drips. Newtonian physics does not apply to paint drops. The parabolas that they can describe bear no relationship to the force with which the paint brush is applied to the object to be painted. They have an affinity for cloth, especially cloth which retains foreign colour in spite of instant washing. We have also discovered that whatever drill bit you have in your drill at any time, it will need to be changed for another before you can use it.

We have discovered that we have spent more time on the road than on the project. This has not been entirely our own fault. Which other group of builders has set off on yet another odyssey to find some sort of metal strut and bought a set of watercolour tubes, artist’s paint brushes and other accoutrements necessary to produce delicate works of art and really good value kit kat bars? We lacked the single minded professionalism that characterises the normal British workman. (sic.)

Toni continues to suffer; he has now been generally unwell for about five weeks and is thoroughly fed up. He languishes on the sofa during the day and then, in the switchback ride that is his illness, subsides into morose sickness during the evening and coughs his way through the night. I thought that he was allowing himself a comfortable margin for recovery on Tuesday when he told his work that he would not be returning until Monday, but I am now beginning to wonder if he is going to be fully back to his old self by then. We will see. A miserable time for him!

My list of 'tareas' grows and grows: the latest is a drain. As we slogged away putting up the final (non-fitting) piece of fence, Paul Squared noticed a thin stream of evil smelling liquid emanating from a metal cover. Paul, being Paul, and not being content to ignore things, dislodged the cover and discovered a miasmic conglomeration of nastiness which had me phoning for dynarod in short order.

I await their coming with a hand over the nose!