A day in the life of

No second viewing.

Sounds like the title of a poem by Yeats or a novel from the nineteen twenties, or perhaps a film noir; it is, of course, none of these; it merely describes the non reappearance of house visitors and potential buyers. It is not going to be enough that Richard is going to have to go through the same thing as his ‘upside down’ house comes onto the market. Comparison of frustration is no expiation.

However: the sun shone. In this benighted country, who can ask for more?

I have taken my mild preoccupation with ‘World’ British Music a step further. I have pondered on what would constitute orchestra music of world renown which is British and finally managed (with the help of Robert) to come up with a list of 10. It was comforting to hear Alan suggest the Trumpet Voluntary by Jeremiah Clarke, as that was my last suggestion at number 10. So I do have a list of sorts of the top ten British World Music orchestral tunes.

The step further has been to contact Classic FM and suggest an insert or a programme based on my idea. I spoke to someone who sounded in the last throes of a sore throat and cold. I was told that I would be contacted either by somebody who would respond to the idea of a list or somebody who could take it further. I look forward to the contact, but, giving it further thought I might suggest it to Radio Wales or rather to Radio 4. I will work on the ideas and hope that my impulsive contacting of Classic FM has not stymied my chances of getting the more fully worked out ideas for a larger (or more lucrative) audience. As I’m typing I’m getting more ideas for the format of a series of programmes, so I think I should shut up and now and get a different ‘piece of paper’ and be more professional about my ideas.

I am taking part in ‘Something Else’ this Sunday, so it may well be a good opportunity to get some feedback on any idea and format that I might suggest. Some work to do then!

I’ve read a little more of ‘Nicholas Nickleby’ and am getting into the narrative. Ralph Nickleby, although presented as a heartless baddie, has some interesting features, especially linguistically. I think he is a character who will be differently perceived by me this reading around. Newman Noggs as a character was front-lined for me by the superb National Theatre production of evil memory – not, I rush to add, through any fault of The National Theatre, but rather through the usual machinations of pupils whose sole reason for existence is to frustrate the best intentions of selflessly professional teachers. I have not thought about this incident for many years, but memory has a way of letting you relive all the fury, frustration and exasperation that pedagogy is heir to! How well I remember the repercussions of that little school trip!

Since memory is in the ascendant I may as well recall the Ultimate Horror Trip. It all started so well and we (the goodies – the teachers) sat in the evening sunshine in Stratford upon Avon having a well deserved light evening meal before the performance by the Royal Shakespeare Theatre Company in the Memorial Theatre. It was all going so well that we shouldn’t have tempted fate by saying out loud, “Well, this is all very pleasant, isn’t it?” From then onwards terror succeeded horror and catastrophe piled on disaster.

I think I’ll just list what went on and I experience again the character building experience that the evening became:

1 We are a ticket short as we sold the ‘extra’ ticket we had because one of the pupils was hiding under a chair
2 I stand for the first half of the show behind the stall seats
3 One of my colleagues spends the first part of the show running up and down the stairs – don’t ask
4 The kids’ behaviour during the first part of the show elicits complaints from the rest of the audience
5 The kids talk, eat crisps and drink fizzy drinks from cans
6 One psychotic kid makes a break for ‘freedom’ at the end of the show
7 I trust my colleagues to count the kids back on the bus accurately
8 Just leaving Stratford someone asks, “Where’s John?” (The boy who was hiding under seat – see 1 above)
9 The bus returns to the Memorial Theatre and I wander around the steps of the theatre calling, “John! John!” as if the boy was a dog
10 We make contingency plans to inform police, parents, school etc about missing boy
11 I decide I will stay in Stratford for the night to search for boy
12 Teachers join in the increasingly worried search party
13 Boy found wandering around in front of the Hilton, “I don’t follow the herd sir,” was his explanation
14 The bus sets off and stops for a toilet break at a service station where the pupils are herded unceremoniously like animals they are so they can’t misbehave further
15 Psychotic pupil manages to steal motorway cone
16 Male colleague sits next to psychotic pupil (who is clutching the cone) and swears at him (sotto voce) for the whole of the return trip to Cardiff
17 We are late arriving back at school
18 Teachers decide to kill pupils
19 Teachers think again and reluctantly decide to obey laws
20 Teachers sleep.

This is yet another aspect of teaching that I don’t miss!