My only attempt at “external” Culture this
week was an abortive attempt to go to the Picasso Museum in the centre of
Barcelona. The permanent collection here
is not noted for the range and quality of the artist’s most iconic works but
they compensate for a rather idiosyncratic range by holding very inventive
exhibitions to bolster the scanty offerings.
In was on the basis of an exhibition that I set out at the end of the
day with Suzanne to boost our flagging Art Quotient.
The trip to the centre from our elevated
position in school is always a frustrating one as calm driving is impossible
with the constant swarm of pesky motorbike riders. They buzz about the traffic lanes like
suicidal mosquitoes and my only regret is that it is apparently illegal to swat
them.
They drive with almost complete and total
disregard for their own and other drivers’ safety. Almost.
There is a sort of breath-taking obliviousness to death and injury that
would be amusing were one watching a TV programme of “Mad Drivers!” – but which
is chillingly frightening when one is part of the performance.
Astonishingly, after one more than mad
manoeuver by one of the death-head motorcycle brigade, I saw a trailing hand
twitch in an unmistakable gesture of apology!
Unique! It makes one doubt one’s
sweeping assumption that all motorcyclists are the direct spawn of a debauched
and defrocked devil, too evil even to be tolerated as a part of Satan’s true
cohort. Might it be that they have
humanity?
This is too radical an opinion to be held
for more than a few nano-seconds. And I
am not going to allow it to influence my long held opinion on their debauched
breed!
In spite of the infestation of
motorcyclists we managed to get to an underground car park beneath the
Cathedral and then started our Cultural Expedition. Suzanne bleated that she needed “a little
something” and, as we were passing an ostentatiously city-rustic, bare brick,
organic laded shop I suggested that we have a coffee to sustain us on our artistic
Odyssey. Our foray into the shop
revealed lots of attractively presented good-for-you edibles in frighteningly
un-priced containers. So unnerved were
we by this “buy now and worry about the price later” philosophy than we fled in
some disarray.
And when I suggested that we have a glass
of wine instead of coffee Suzanne almost wept with relief that the character
that she knew had reappeared in my guise!
I therefore followed her to a charming
little summer courtyard location where metal seats and tables were set out for
the knowing to partake of Cava and tapas.
A bottle of Cava was duly ordered and much lubricated conversation
followed. Indeed so much conversation
followed that by the time we got to the Picasso Museum it was literally about
to close. One could not, however count
such a delightful end to the day as anything less than an authentic cultural
experience, especially as we could see one of the early twentieth century
Gothic towers of the Cathedral from where we were sipping.
Return from Suzanne’s house (after I returned
her home like the gentleman I am) was courtesy of my Tom-Tom in which I have an
absolute trust. And it was repaid by
delivering me to my street in double quick time.
A home which is now threatened by the
appearance of The Scumbags – our worst neighbourhood nightmare – who have
returned to watch The Match. At the
moment their proximity is tempered by the fact that Barça is winning by three
goals. Barça dominated the first half in
all departments and the game should be a “Perfect Goodbye” for Pep as he leads
the team in his last attempt at yet another cup!
I do hope that our pool will not now be
haunted by cigarette smoking harridans – one of the many curses of the summer
season – whose constant smoking will be accompanied by the dire sound of the television
left on at full volume outside the house.
To make matters worse The Scumbags are fixated on the unutterable tedium
of Formula 1 racing so Sunday will be accompanied by the sound track of the intrusive
whine of rich people burning petrol for the enjoyment of other rich people
while stupid poor people (who actually pay for it all) look on.
At least it is supposed to be fairly sunny
during the weekend.
That is something.
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