Translate

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Take something else!


My present intake of dugs (which is keeping the pharmaceutical industry going) while certainly having an effect on the cough etcetera, did nothing to deaden the pain of a two hour meeting after school. 

I told anybody who would listen that I was there by a sheer effort of will and motivated solely by an overwhelming sense of bloody minded professionalism, and that I might well not last the full two hours of the meeting.

I did of course with virtually my sole contribution of the meeting being a few extravagant coughing outbursts.

When I arrived back at the house I found that Toni was just about to phone the police, as he had had no idea where I was.  This was in spite of the fact that I spent the whole of the weekend bemoaning the fact that I had two two-hour meetings on the first two days of the week.  Toni must have an incredibly effective filtering mechanism to neutralize my gripes about the educational institution I grace with my presence!

Today is the six period teaching stint, to be followed as a special treat by the next two-hour meeting.  When I think about how little chance the management in this place would have to inflict this absurd burden on staff were I in Britain – I could well weep! 

Here it is accepted as one of the jolly japes that Johnny Foreigner finds essential to him himself going!  In reality, it is, of course, unforgiveable and will rankle in my mind as yet another Crime Against Humanity that I have had to suffer in the cause of education.

Meanwhile I am having to put up with the morning Catalan Cackle which occurs when two or more ladies of that national persuasion get together.  I have been driven from staffrooms by the cutting quality of high pitched simultaneous chattering which is more effective at wiping intelligent thought from a British brain than a high power magnet on a hard drive!

Accompanying this baying was the most glorious sunrise visible at it rose over a distant hill.  It is such images of beauty which will keep me sane during the horror of the hours ahead.

I am also taking strength from the phone call from Dianne last night when she confirmed that she is going to apply for early retirement.  This means that she and Ceri will be able to come over to Barcelona out of season and hopefully at low cost.  If I don’t see them in the summer then I certainly look forward to seeing them in the autumn – and we can think again about the visit to the gastronomic restaurant perched like a spaceship atop the hotel is Hospitalet!

I will need any and all positive motivations to keep my mind away from the horrors or another meeting this evening.

The day has started well with my first class being delayed by their having a talk by students who are trying to encourage them to go on a school visit to America.  In fact I have just been told by the head of department not to expect “much of a lesson” as the talks have, as usual, extended themselves and will take up the greater part of the lesson.  One down five to go!

One of my lessons is going to involve chocolate.

As part of my Media Studies classes I touch on logos, advertising and packaging.

I am fascinated by packaging.  I think all people are.  How many times have kids been given presents and they are far more interested in the box in which the present came than the actual present itself!  For some of us that delight never leaves.  I think that my interested may have been boosted by a period in my mother’s life when she was ensnared by a local Avon Lady who came Calling and left the most delicious catalogues.

I was absolutely fascinated by the bottles that the nondescript smells and potions came in, especially as my father explained that he was convinced that the bottle cost more to produce than the contents!  This was a revelation to me and it directed my interest more keenly.

Todays shops are a packageaholic’s paradise.  Not only do you have the minimalist delight of Apple packaging but also you have the bubble plastic tomb extravagance of Japanese cartoon character toys packaging as well.

How many adults have been left with shredded and bleeding fingers as they try and release toys from their razor sharp plastic covering only to have the wounds augmented by the dagger like metal twists that hold toys in place on their backing cards!

But my real pleasure is in the clever deceptive packaging where hapless consumers are encouraged to pay much, much more for less and less.

My current favourites in this field are Nespresso and Dettol (to be taken separately).  Coffee I can treat with detachment but Dettol is part of the Circle of Trust that is made up of products given the maternal mark of distinction and turned into icons by my mother. 

This circle is made up of Domestos, Dettol, TCP, Savlon and Vic.  In my mother’s view any child brought up in a household in which any one of those products was lacking had a right and duty to phone Childline and ask to be taken into care!

Nespresso has made a religion out of coffee purchase and their packaging of minute amounts of coffee into elegant capsules has made the coffee grains weight-for-weight on a par with gold dust!

Dettol is slightly different.  They have developed a hand soap dispenser that is electronic and deposits the soap on the hand without the user having to touch any part of the machine. 

The brand-specific soap refills are smaller than the cheap alternatives that you can buy anywhere for a single euro or less and are, of course, substantially more expensive. 

I have used up one refill and have discovered that the opening in the bottle is a cleverly designed valve which precludes the use of cheaper soap being forced through – though, it occurs to me that there must be something on YouTube that will show me how to thwart the system!

What I have chosen as an illustration my lesson this afternoon is Toblerone. 

I have bought a packet of individually lavishly wrapped triangles of Toblerone chocolate and a solid bar of the stuff – both cost the same but the difference in weight for money is astonishing.  And the packaging makes such a difference in the presentation.  The kids will be amazed and involved because at least we get to eat the things!  At least that is my plan.

The way that Media Studies is organized means that I have two periods with the equivalent of Year 9 taking up the entire afternoon from 3.00 pm to 4.45 pm – the graveyard shift for hormonal adolescents!  This is done in a room in which my personal storage space is in the remaining space of the moveable television cabinet, where, not surprisingly the television and video/CD player take up most of the available space.

I have tried to make the second part of the double lesson practical, but any practical component is a constant battle to find and distribute stuff which always has to be found and brought in just before the lesson itself.  I (like the idiot I am) have bought a class set of scissors – yet again ignoring my oft-repeated advice to members of my own department “not to buy things for school”.  When it makes your own life so much easier and it comes courtesy of Lidl’s at relatively little expense I think that it is worth it!

Then there is the meeting or The Meeting as it has become in my mind.  Talking with the head of department she seems not averse to my sloping off after the 3ESO has been done which should be at least an hour away from the gory end of the horrible experience for everyone else.

And at the termination of this school day I will have chalked up: eleven teaching lessons; four hours of mind-numbing meetings; a tedious lunchtime duty and much spectacular coughing and snuffling, we won’t even be halfway through the week! 

Which is not a good way of thinking about the time that I have already done.  Or indeed the time left to the weekend!

I shall console myself with the fact that this is the last full week before the Christmas holidays.  We finish on the 22nd of December and we do not return until the 9th of January next year.  It always sounds more comforting when you say that.  “Next year” always sounds more distant in time, even when you are talking about it on the 31st of December!

Roll on oblivion!


No comments: