Having a birthday on United Nations Day (the 24th of October) gives one an unhealthy interest in the doings of that organization throughout life. You feel a sort of belonging and always have a type of grudging admiration for the ethos behind it and resent the carping criticism of the United Nations by those people who not only do not have a birthday on the 24th of October but also by their vicious denunciations of the whole UN idea never seem to have heard of October itself!
As a secret Romantic (in spite of the brittle shell of ironic distain) you get idealism as an unexpected free gift, so the concept of the Whole World coming together to talk through differences and decide on policies for the betterment of humankind seems obvious and eminently achievable. It therefore comes as an almost personal affront when one country after another parades, demonstrates and vaunts narrow minded sectarian bigotry through the honeyed tones of smug UN ambassadors in the General Assembly. The obvious lies, half truths and cynical spin are breathtaking in their banal splendour as each tin pot (and platinum pot) country mouths some inanity as their ‘contribution’ to the squabbling which passes for debate in New York.
The Security Council, in its way, is worse than the General Assembly. We have Mickey Mouse nations (which, come to think of it is a metaphor which insults Mickey Mouse) taking their turn in the councils of the mighty, while the mighty (including of course the historical anomaly of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland pretending to be a great nation, jealously guarding its permanent status at the high table) browbeat, intimidate and generally push their weight around, while countries like China (how long did it take before their were even allowed to join the UN) pursue a policy of self-interest which makes the British Empire seem positively egalitarian, enlightened and philanthropic.
Soldiers from the contributing nations of the UN are sent into some of the most desperate trouble spots on the planet and are told that they must not, under any circumstances shoot at anyone. The squalid failures of UN ‘peace keeping’ are too numerous and shaming to enumerate.
And what of the Secretaries General? One is tempted to say that there hasn’t been a decent one since Dag Hammarskjöld – and we all know what happened to him.
What are we left with? A deeply flawed organization, constantly on the brink of bankruptcy (thank you USA) sending out inadequate forces (thank you all those countries that have not paid their dues) while bickering grown ups (thank you all the rest) present a picture of our planet which, if submitted to an Inter Galactic Commission of Enquiry would mean our vaporization in nano seconds.
I am reduced to weary despair but, in a very uncharacteristic moment, I turn to the words of that notable war criminal, Churchill, about democracy: "Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all those other forms that have been tried from time to time."
Ditto the UN. Happy Birthday!
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