Keep or discard?

How much does a wooden spoon cost? Not much, surely? So why does it take such an effort to throw one out when it is cracked or broken? Today I have finally relegated (to the recycling bin) an ancient, blackened, disfigured and frankly slimy wooden spoon. I am not from West Wales, or Scotland or any of the other racist inspired stereotypically mean locations, why do I find it such a major deal to throw away something which is, finally, easily replaceable? God knows.

But, thinking about it, there is a whole series of other domestic necessities which also have inordinately long shelf lives.

Take tea cloths: not a major expense, yet I’ve seen threadbare examples in homes where the owners would think nothing about discarding the tail end of the salmon and the ends of the cheeses at the termination of a meal. Tea towels which seem to have negative capabilities of soaking up water from dishes are treasured by families that throw away Christmas cake before the alcohol in it has allowed them fully to mature – the cakes and the families! Flannels too: surely people can tell that when a flannel is more like the feel and consistency of a flat fish, then it is probably time for a change, but not, the DNA treasuring scrap of cloth is prized in the same way as the Shroud of Turin!

Then we come to clothes. How often to single straight men buy their own underpants? If it was left to them they would probably still be struggling to wear the last pair bought by their mums.

And cutlery: when the stuff that you use day by day would not look out of place in a greasy spoon restaurant then perhaps it is time to consider changing one of the ways in which others judge you. The first and most important way in which you are instantly judged (and inevitably, never forgvien) is, of course, how many and what titles of books you have in your living room. If you have none, then you should be cast into the physical outer darkness that obviously mirrors your already existing spiritual one.

And lastly sheets. I know that, somewhere, there exists either upstairs, or in the possessions now in the careful charge of Messrs. Pickfords, a sheet with the utility mark on it. If you have to ask what that mark actually signifies, then you would be far too shocked to know what it signifies in terms of age. If you too have such sheets then you will be familiar with the, “it may be a sign of age but it is also a sign of quality” argument [a varient on the "they don't make them like that any more" defence] which allows you to keep it proudly as an icon of class and prudence. Isn’t semantics a comforting thing?

I’m sure that you have your own (justified) keepings. I wonder what they are.

I have just watched ‘Geisha’ and have been mightily disappointed with it. If you discard the Japanese setting and concentrate on the basic story line then it is little more than ‘poor orphan girl goes though hardships but eventually gets her prince.’ The sententious voice over did not make the narrative thrust any more convincing. There were elements of almost gritty realism which could have made a much better film, but the cherry blossom was never very far away from this saccharine take on Cinderella.

I phoned the Carphonewarehouse (is it all one word?) about the non gleaming of the required blue backlight on the Motorola phone and was told that there was a ambient light sensor on the phone which will stop the backlight coming on to preserve battery life. A live test in the darkness this evening has proved that the light does come on when the darkness is profound, but I would want the light to come on during twilight too, what with my eyesight and everything.

I am getting nearer to my second ‘signing on’ experience. So the weeks pass and nothing, not a single penny is thrust in my direction. I wonder how long they will take before they come to any decision on my case? The story continues.

For dinner this evening we had as a main course what is usually an accompanying vegetable in Spain. It was delicious so the recipe follows.

Ingredients.
2 tins broad beans
1 small black pudding
pkt of smoked bacon
1 teaspoon fennel seeds
vegetable stock cubes
small onion
four cloves garlic

Method:
Put a little oil in a saucepan and add the bacon cut into smallish pieces. Allow to cook for a short time then add chopped onion, chopped garlic and the fennel seeds. Stir and cook over a moderate heat
Dice and add the black pudding. Cook until the onion is transparent.
Add the stock cubes mixed in a cup of boiling water. Stir the mixture ensuring that the bottom of the saucepan is clear. Add the broad beans and lower the heat. When the beans are fully warmed, serve in a bowl with fresh bread.

Serves two as a main meal, or six as a starter or tapa.