Some things never change

Toni has turned from the theoretical to the practical and is repairing his old computer for his mother with much drilling, solder and other things about which I have no desire to know.  It is touching the way that he assumes that I have even a passing interest in actually knowing how these things are done!  As long as he’s there to know, why should I burden my mind with such knowledge!  Anyway, to be on the safe side I try and show a polite interest and make the appropriate cooing noises when I am shown something that is, apparently, interesting.

Writing my Morning Pages on the computer is nothing like the same as using a pen and having written two days on the computer I am ready to buy another book and get writing again.  It is more of a physical effort to write rather than to type and the extra effort is, I think, an element without which I cannot do.  The computer is fine if you have done all the preparatory work and all you are doing is just writing out a draft.  I then need hard paper copy to edit and then back to the screen where editing is simple, again as long as you know what you are doing.

There is nothing more delightful than moving a paragraph around on a computer – because you can.  When I was using a real typewriter then a paragraph out of sync. was a disaster and it simply had to stay.  Unless, of course you had a home photocopier and you could cut and paste!  And of course I did have a home photocopier, until printers made them obsolete – but by that time the Word programs were good enough for you to start real editing without fearing the loss of you document or other things that early versions of Windows did with impunity!

Why is it that the little obvious jobs take so much time to do?  Why do we (I) put off a simple case of minimal reorganization for so long?  Or is it just I – or do you do the same?

It all, as is to so often the case, comes down to tea.  Of late I have eschewed normal tea and have given myself to the exotic.  Which is tautological, or pleonastic or self-contradictory, or is it only me noticing such things?  Anyway I am not drinking the floor sweepings put into little bags but am branching out into whole other areas of dried left taste experience.  

One bag from Lidl’s says it is Mediterranean tea which seems to mean oranges and lemons with flowers.  An interesting taste and one that I think corresponds to the Barcelona Tea that I was told about on Sunday, but I will delve deeper into this and get some of the ‘real’ stuff when I go into town for my next opera.  I understand that it may be purchased in the ‘Tea Shop’, which is just inside the Triangle next to the Café Zurich.  Which in itself is next to FNAC and – but that is another story and I am working on the next ‘chapter’ of that saga, and it can wait to be told if there is a satisfactory outcome!

Tomorrow the car goes to have the door repaired in the garage next to the pharmaceutical company in which the wrecker works.  I will have to get the car cleaned so that the appearance of the repaired door can be seen clearly in comparison with the old.  More money to be spent!

My swim this morning was in the afternoon, though only just in the afternoon and it went well.  Though I was bereft because of the untoward behaviour of my swimming device.  I had recharged it and now all it will do is show the battery full sign and nothing else.  I assume that I have over charged it somehow (I have a shrewd idea) and I will have to wait in patience (and silence while I swim) for the thing to run down and become more amenable to conversation with the computer. 

I sincerely hope that nothing bad has happened because this will be the third or fourth time that I have had to send this machine back.  Why persist, I hear you ask.  Well, it is the only one which does the job, all the others are less impressive and I am prepared to take the rough with the smooth and hope for the best and all other clichés in my continuing use of it.  Roll on the hours for the thing to run down and then I will start praying. 

If I do have to send it back I will order another at the same time.  Stupid, eh?  But that’s the way I work!

How does my next topic link to the last, well, I can see a way of seguing from one to the other!  I am currently reading a book (on my new Kindle, though to be fair I was also reading it on my old one) on The Borgias by Christopher Hibbert and in the narrative of blatant self-interest, nepotism, outrageous lying, re-writing history, coercion, rigged voting, bribery, violence, the love of money, ostentatious display and so on, I couldn’t help thinking of our own dear government.  British?  Yes!  Spanish?  Absolutely!

In the latest twist about the carnival of freaks that make up the Spanish Cabinet, the minister of education (who is universally loathed) has been called ‘rubbish’ by a British spokesman for the European Parliament.  The look on the Spanish cretin’s face when an eager journalist told him what he had been called was priceless and, in theory, I would buy a mug emblazoned with his face at that moment and a suitably insulting inscription!  This was only the highlight of days of many ‘What the fuck did he say?’ type incredulous conversations that have been going on conducted by various journalists and by Spanish students around Europe. 

Clearly, he should resign and, if he had a shred of decency, go on national television bow to the population and then disembowel himself with a blunt stick. 

Unfortunately, owning to the shameless (and shameless is far too mild a word to express it) nature of the so-called Spanish Government, the Walking Joke (Rajoy aka the Stumbling Idiot) has expressed full confidence in the piece of mediocrity.  As well he might, because the antics of the clowns he has surrounded himself with deflect some of the attention from the shady dealings that he is involved in.  When denounced he angrily defended himself and said that everything was untrue ‘except for some things’!  It really defies contempt!

The last box of new discs is waiting to be fed into the computer, though with the device temporarily (I hope and trust) out of action I will have to enjoy my new acquisitions by listening to them in the aleatory system that governs what I hear when I turn on iTunes!

Now back to the Third Floor to get stuck in to more writing and feed in more discs.  And prepare myself for my second swim of the day without my trusty music!

I shrug off hardship and face the travails of my existence with a wary smile!

Time for what?

I tell you I don’t care!  What people think is of no significance to me!  What do they know about the so-called ‘right’ number of watches to own?  Eh?  What do they know?  Nothing!  That’s what they know!  Nothing!

So, now that is sorted I can share with you that I have bought another watch.  And no, I have no intention whatsoever of giving this one a number.  Not to have watches in double figures shows a callous disregard of the work of generations of watchmakers who have struggled over hundreds of years to bring the measurement of time within the grasp of the ordinary citizen.  I spurn people who say of the watch that they were given at 21 (or in recent times at 18) is for life!  For life is fine as a concept as long as it is not alone in that life!

The new watch is an automatic (how post-modern of me!) and has the usual essentials, to wit – waterproof, luminous, day, month, numbers, sweep second hand and it even tells the time!  The USP of this one (as if it needed one) is that  part of the face has been taken away and so it is possible to see some of the internal workings of the watch, uh, working!  It is fairly chunky and has some encouragingly prominent buttons to press sooner or later and a leather strap – but I’ve had leather straps before and they are fine even with swimming.

And swimming is something that I have done twice today.  Getting back to the old days when I had a swim before and after school.  I must say that the second swim was more to test the waterproof qualities of the watch, but I found it, let me search for the right word here, satisfying.  And swimming is something which always makes you feel good, or if not good, then at least virtuous!

And my new Kindle was delivered.  There is a touch of the watch syndrome about this new arrival as well.  You cannot hide with Kindle.  The new machine arrives and you put your details into it and it tells you exactly how far you have been sucked into the whole Kindle experience.  ‘Stephen’s fourth Kindle’ is says very clearly in their Paperwhite technology, so its there in black and white.  How the hell have I managed to acquire four of these machines each of which is able to hold a thousand or so books?  Well, if you have to ask the question, you obviously don’t know me!

The new version is, quite frankly, brilliant!  It is for reading books.  Simple.  And it provides an environment for doing just that very well indeed.  It is not a tablet, it doesn’t have any fancy extras – though the people at Kindle have tried their best to make the limited functions that the machine has seem bright and new.  I love it!  Buy one.  Even the touch screen technology on this version is much better than the Sony ebook reader that I had a few years ago.  I celebrate progress and am prepared to put my money where my weakness is!

Now the real struggle starts with my deciding whether or not to ‘replace’ something which is working perfectly well, but is a little tatty at the corners.  I don’t know why I write this because this ‘debate’ is already over as far as I am concerned, the only question is when.

There is a slow trickle of comments on the forum about my writing among others, but it is slow and I would like to have a more rapid turnaround of work and comments, but I will have to make do with what is emerging and make the most of it.

Our writing tasks are becoming more complex and we are being asked to work our notes and our techniques into more sophisticated pieces of work.  This is definite progression that is both encouraging and somewhat frightening at the same time! 

That’s education!

Never here - always there!

Back to situation normal and the non-delivery-delivery-people failed to deliver, or to be more exact they delivered a sheet of paper informing me that they were unable to deliver.  My pursuit into town got the package, but it wasn’t the one that I wanted to have.  I will have to wait another day for my new Kindle to be delivered, though, disturbingly (or ‘normally’ as I would say or ‘unsurprisingly’ as I might also say) they had no warning of the immanent arrival of a package, while I have been given quite specific information informing me that the Kindle will be in Castelldefels by tomorrow.  I wait with no expectation whatsoever.

And talking of expectation, our tutor is now getting to the end of the time allowed by the OU for her to complete the marking.  She is allowed ten working days and, allowing for empty weekends she should only have a couple of days left to get everything done and sent back to us.  We will see.  In my experience both staff and students are quite cute when it comes to making the most of the time available when it is there for the taking!

As this is a full 60-credit course I need to find out what priorities the tutor has because she is going to be sole arbiter of my mark.  There is no examination; everything is going to be done by assignment, so knowing what makes such a person tick is pretty important.  To be fair the OU does give a vast amount of information about how the stuff is going to be assessed, but however proscriptive the description there is always wiggle-room for personal interpretation.  And anyway this is all about personal interpretation.  There is only so much that can be give for accuracy and following the rules, this is, after all Creative Writing and therefore there must be a certain amount of latitude for personal taste to influence the final mark.

I suppose that writing is fairly close to my heart and I value the skill that I think that I have.  As a teacher I am well able to evaluate a piece of writing I have, after all been doing that for all of my professional career, I also know that I am much more than competent in dashing off a response to a limited exercise which can impress with its flashy imagination and facile style.  It is taking it a step further, which is what I want this course to do for me, that is the worrying part.  The importance is not linked to some sort of paper qualification but to something which is rather more central to my life – my belief in my ability to self-evaluate.  Perhaps teachers are the worst of all students in needing the comfort of peer group evaluation!  Doesn’t make it any easier!

My swim today was exceptional and I went beyond what I have done recently!  Though admittedly in a sort of low-key way.  I have no idea what sportsmen and women are talking about when they say that they are able to break through the pain barrier.  Does it actually mean anything at all?  Pain is nature’s way of telling you to stop.  We should always listen to pain because it always has the possibility of using the weapon of the ultimate silence to those who will not hear!  Do these mythical sportspeople have a gene which allows them to self-medicate?  Rubbish, they are simple masochists.  Pure and simple.

My ‘pain barrier’ is finding a rhythm and feeling that, if I wanted to I could swim for ever.  Now in reality I have no intention of going over my self-imposed limit of 30 minutes and it is only the continuation of a particularly interesting track humming its way through my cheekbones that ever takes me over that limit.  But that steady, many would say monotonous, churning of the water with strong, methodical, almost effort free strokes is a pleasant mode to be in.  It does take effort and I am well aware of that at all times, but in my own small way it is a technique of going beyond.

Toni is now obsessed by his course and it drives him relentlessly.  He complains about the work and the lack of response from some of his tutors, but the maniacal gleam in his eyes tells you that this is what his life has been leading up to!  In a way I feel that about my course too, though the fear of what I am supposed to create by the end of it is something which I find intimidating all these months before.  I know that at the turn of the year the speech towards the end of the course will increase and I will join in the hysteria of all the other students who begin to wail their inadequacies to the moon!  Though that is an accepted perk of doing distance learning, I understand!

Since the clocks have gone back the nights have drawn in with a terrifying velocity and its now only half past six but it is black.  I am already beginning to long for the expansive days of summer!  Greed has always been one of my besetting sins!

I am now almost through the second box of new CDs which are being put into the computer, only the box of Das Alte Werk to go and I will have added 150 discs to my system!  Amazing, and all of them quality.  Not quality for Toni perhaps but for me yes!  There is a lot on these discs with which I am not familiar and so I could start another learning curve and get some obscure music under my belt and into my ears – or I could just wait for the ‘random’ program to give it to me eventually.  Which seems a much use of my time.  I am listening to selected discs, but purely on the basis of absolute self-indulgence!

Tomorrow my new Kindle (!) and more deep thinking about the unfairly attractive watch in the local shopping centre!

Only human!

20%.  One fifth.  One in five.

When I was indulging myself at Irene’s the twenty per cent rule came into my mind.  Virtually everything that I ate in the house was something that has been forbidden by the dictates of my very reasonable diet.  But another part of my oh so reasonable diet says that 20% of what I eat can be ‘questionable’ or just plain wrong.

I am not sure just how little I will be able to eat during the coming week to justify the meal only accounting for 20%, but starvation seems like an attractive alternative to what I am going to have to do.  I think perhaps minor surgery will be necessary, but somehow we will get through.

I have now lost 5k which is impressive as long as you visualize it as bags of sugar.  You have to do thing because it doesn’t look as though I have lost a single solitary ounce – if I may be allowed to mix my weights!  Still, after a delicious backsliding I will attempt to keep on the straight, narrow and downward slope to what I fondly believe to be health.

The two pieces of writing that I did late yesterday night and posted on the forum have been signally ignored.  That is perhaps unfair as no one else has posted anything – but they must have looked at least and obviously been intimidated by the excellence of my work and fled in despair.  Or not.

We are now on to the next chapter in the Big Red Book and yet more exercise to complete and our tutor (who is soon to return out first piece of work) has established a new area in which we have to post our work.  There is a galloping relentlessness of work that has to be done which is nothing like my remembrance of a campus-based university!  It is quite exhilarating and exhausting at the same time.  Which is possibly how it should be.

Tomorrow my new Kindle should arrive, a delayed birthday present to myself, although it is in the hands of the non-delivery-delivery-people that Amazon stubbornly keeps using in this area.  To be fair, they are starting to deliver things and the last couple (and when I say couple I mean two, it’s quite specific) of items have actually been delivered to the door.  I am not so gullible to believe that this is something that will continue, but I am enjoying a firm actually doing what it is paid to do!

The arrival of a new gadget will not drain my enthusiasm for spending yet more money – the watch, and something a little more expensive are still tickling the edge of my weakness which is visibly fraying – if I may be allowed to mix my metaphors!

So far today I have only done my morning pages and that finished the notebook that I am using.  Tomorrow to the supermarket to get more supplies.  Buying stationery has always had a strange appeal for me.  I am sure that it is something to do with what you get for your money.  Such seeming value!  Think of a box of staples, how many you get.  A thousand for pence!  And safety pins and paper clips and paper.  It is only when you put things together that the expense starts piling on.  Eighty sheets of paper costs very little, but as soon as you put a spiral binding with two cardboard covers around it the price spirals up in a most remarkable way.  Still, at least I have been able to resist the decorated notebooks which take expense into another universe!

I may or may not be spendthrift, but even I recognize when some expense is just too much! 

Probably.