This is my last weekend of freedom before my various courses
start in earnest. To be strictly
accurate on has sort-of started and the other is lurking in the near
future. I have received all the books
for one course and half the books of another.
Usually, of course, the receipt of printed material would encourage me
to break out into my “Libros! Libros! Libros!” song (believe me the lyrics do
not get much more sophisticated) which greets any package with pages, but my
jolifications have been somewhat more muted for these offerings.
The reason
is that the two (count them) courses that I will be taking this academic year
are both a belated attempt to improve my woeful Spanish. This means hard work, rather than the usual
voluptuous sinking into the printed word.
It means rote learning and forcing my memory to accept a whole new
vocabulary. Given that each new word in
English (let alone Spanish) only lodges in my mind after the mental equivalent
of using high explosives to make a space for the new information, I shudder to
think about what my calcifying brain will have to do to accommodate and entire
language!
Still, the
effort must be made, especially as my convincing display of verb-less fluency
in the tongue of my adopted country makes most people who don’t speak Spanish
think that complete proficiency is a mere nuance more in my efforts to become a
consulting member of the Spanish Academy.
It would be somewhat satisfying to construct a sentence with all the
grammatical parts in place rather than slurred in the Impressionistic approach
to communication in a foreign tongue that I affect.
The
faux-fluency (see above) means that I am in the second level of classes for my
course in Castelldefels, rather than where I deserve to be in the class of rank
beginners. This is all fin and dandy,
but we had to complete an exercise on (gasp!) verbs, today, in the second
lesson – and my woeful inadequacy was shown up in a series of tentative, rubbed
out, unconvincingly rewritten, rubbed out again and then copied answers!
My plea to
the teacher to be instantly demoted to the class of the more comfortingly
inarticulate was greeted with a blank refusal and an encouraging smile. The way, seemingly, is now set for a true
linguistic via dolorosa for my bleeding pilgrim feet to follow from now to next
May.
On the
other hand this course is as cheap as chips, with the local council subsidising
the cost of materials and tuition. I
cannot believe that the €50 that I have paid is for anything more than the
first term, though even €150 for a year’s classes of two two-hour classes a
week seems something of a bargain.
Especially
when you compare it with the other course that I am taking which is with the
Open University – and which is well over ten times as much. I am hoping that these two courses will run
in something like tandem and get me to the level of A2 in Spanish by the summer
of next year.
The
designation I am aiming for is not an arbitrary one. A2 is the minimum standard necessary to apply
for citizenship in Spain.
Given the
implications of Brexit and my determination, short of expulsion, not to give up
my access to Mediterranean sunshine and free health care, I feel that I have to
be pro-active about what might happen in just over two years time.
I might add
that I have absolutely no intention of giving up my British citizenship. Whatsoever.
No matter what bunch of self-seeking, idiotic, self-serving, selfish
bigots are actually governing (ha!) the country, it is mine own. Like Prospero with Caliban, we are
indissolubly linked. But, on the practical
side, once the UK is out of the EU (and I certainly do not trust any of the
Conservatives past, present or future to look out for me and mine) I will have
to shift for myself. And one of those
movements might be to apply for joint citizenship.
The language
is only half the challenge. Another part
of the examinations to become a Spanish citizen involves a test of knowledge of
Spain, the Spanish People and Its Institutions.
Having just come back from an exhibition in the Museum Nacional d’Art de
Catalunya of the work of Lluïsa Vidal – Pintora
del Modernismo I do feel that that box is ticked. It turns out, however, that the test will not
only be on High Art, but also the so-called popular arts of pop singing, and
probably even bull fighting! I have to admit
that, apart from the excellent group Mecano,
I am not exactly ‘up’ with yoof culture in Spain. I look forward to the “All You Need To Know
About Spain” book for budding citizens!
I can’t wait to see what they say about Government and Justice, especially
as both concepts are little more than farcical jokes at the moment in this
politically benighted country!
Just as
with a range of Catalan artists that I have come to know and now can recognize
and enjoy their art, so too I hope to find a whole new way of looking at this
country as I make a determined effort to become au fait with its geography, history, religion (ugh!), politics
(ha!), bull running (ugh!), architecture, film stars etc etc etc.
I did take
a look at some of the questions that applicants for British citizenship were
asked and, if the Spanish equivalent is anything like those, then there is no
way that I can feel jocose about my present knowledge being deep and wide
enough to get me through!
Last night
I went again, after a lengthy absence, to the Barcelona Poetry Workshop. It was, as it always is, a delight to be with
people who do not sneer when you try and write poetry, and are respectful (or
at least quiet!) when you recite it!
The theme
for the evening was poetry and paintings and I was encouraged enough to draft
out some ideas based on my experience of the Rothko Room in the Tate
Modern. The poem and some ‘explanation’
is available at smrnewpoems.blogspot.com
and is called, imaginatively enough, The
Rothko Room, Tate Modern.
After I discovered that swimming with your mobile phone in
the pocket of your bathing trunks was not a good idea and looked around for a
replacement, I settled for something which was not (under any circumstances) an
iPhone and would keep me quiet until I found something which would truly
replace my Yota phone which, uniquely in my phone experience had two ‘faces’
with the back one being the equivalent of a Kindle! Ideal for me.
Well, after one Yota phone stolen and the other drowned it seemed like
the communicative gods of commerce were telling me to look elsewhere. And look I did, until I fell under the spell
of the Samsung Galaxy Note 7.
This phone
is, I imagine, a thing of beauty: big, blue, with screen to the edges, a pen to
write with, waterproof (see above) and with a decent camera. It was of course (I am after all Marion
Rees’s son) eye-wateringly expensive – but, I thought to myself, soon the
untold wealth of my State Pension is going to come tumbling into my grasping
hands and, anyway, I do not smoke and therefore it is OK to splash (unfortunate
word in the case of my phone) out.
Unfortunately,
although paid for, I do not have this exclusive piece of ostentatious
materiality in my hot little hands.
Hands that could be hot because the one thing that people know about
this phone is that the battery has a habit of bursting into flames when it is
being recharged.
That, of
course, is a gross simplification. There
have been just under (?) 30 cases out of a million or so units manufactured
that have malfunctioned, but that number is more than enough to create absolute
chaos.
The Note 7
was the flagship phone for Samsung; its release date was days before the new
iPhone and it was backed by an intense advertising campaign. Utter, complete disaster.
I should
imagine that the release of the Note 7 will be a key element in business
schools around the world as part of the How-Not-To-Do-It class in the
course. It will be there with “New Coke”
and “The Edsel” as horror stories to frighten neophyte businesspeople.
The
financial repercussions for Samsung were catastrophic with an unbelievable sum
of money being wiped from the shares.
As far as I
can understand one battery manufacturer is at fault. Perhaps.
The units sold in China are fine, the ones elsewhere might explode! As part of the general hysteria I have read
of a newspaper in Samsung’s home country suggesting that part of the problem
has been used by the Americans to further their own company’s fortunes!
My attempts
to find out what exactly was going on after the release was abruptly cancelled
and units started to be exchanged was frustrating. Helplines were anything but, and I only got
some sort of reasoned response by phoning a sister company in the UK and
speaking to a very helpful young man who shared my exasperation as he had
purchased the same phone for his parents and even he, working for the company,
had been unable to get his hands on any.
You might
ask why I am still allowing people to hold my cash when they haven’t delivered
the goods. Well, that is difficult to answer,
but the phone does look good (in pictures) and it does do what I want it to do
and it is waterproof. So I can wait a
little longer rather than compromise.
Again.
We in Spain
have been given a date of the 7th of October for the phones to
appear. I will wait and see. And decide what to do on the 7th. But, it is very pretty, so . . .
