Day One-ish! Of many!

The first real day of the holidays and already I have to hang my head with shame as I have committed an Unspeakable Act: I have returned to school of my own volition during the holidays!

In my defence I have to say that it was occasioned by an act of kindness for an erstwhile colleague; though it also has to be said that, had I remembered to complete this act when I was in school, this desperate expedient would not have been necessary.  Anyway, in spite of the opprobrium of all right-thinking teachers whose well-deserved etc. has started, I have defied augury and done the deed.

To accomplish this I had to use the photocopier and was seen in my cringing progress by the entire management system of the school – wearing I have to admit expressions of amazed incredulity.  How are the mighty fallen!

Still it is only the 4^th (and not the 3^rd as my wristwatch stubbornly maintains) and I have the best part of two months to regain my reputation by staying away from the place!

My progress to the School of Shame was momentarily delayed by my finding a parcel from Amazon carelessly thrown into the front garden.

This is the most efficient of the ways that parcels from Amazon are delivered.  Usually the parcel has to be collected from the central depot because the delivers have been “unable to make contact” with the addressee.  It is my personal belief that some parcel delivers only deliver the notes telling you to collect your parcel and the item in question never leaves the depot.  


In one case I actually found the note before the time that they had written on the note as the time when they attempted to deliver the item – if you see what I mean.  Liars and deceivers is what they are, but one can say nothing because their way at least I eventually get the parcels – who knows what they might do if one actually has the temerity to complain!  I hate seeing book mistreated and I cannot but assume that they will be literal grist to the mill in one of the dark corners of the depot if a voice is raised in protest.

The parcel contained the lids which fit the saucepans in the Tefal Ingenio range of handleless and knobless items that make up the cookware.  Even the lids are flat having a magnetic knob which is released via winged flanges.  Four saucepans and a frying pan together with the lids are now all stored in a small handy space.  I have almost thrown away the vulgar and difficult-to-stack lids which are now redundant (surely someone somewhere wants them) and impossibly clumsy compared with my slimmed down cookware.

I realize that enthusiasm for pots and pans is not something for which I am noted, but this range of saucepans and frying pans is such a good idea that I think it actually qualifies as a gadget and therefore something about which I have a right to express a view. 

Once you have seen them you ask yourself why this hasn’t been done before; it’s one of those inventions which are so-bloody-obvious only once they have been invented!  Though perhaps I am just showing my ignorance and the motorhome fraternity have been using such things for generations.  


I certainly remember rectangular camping pans when I was a kid with folding handles which fitted into each other.  But they were not Teflon™ coated and therefore can be dismissed from the pantheon of gadgets with ease and contempt – and they certainly didn’t have a little logo in the middle which indicates when the pan was ready for frying!

The portable vacuum cleaner was broken out of its packaging in the boot of the car because of an explosion of bits of the shellac-like coating of chewing gum being liberally distributed over the passenger seat as a hasty movement of my hand sent the container of the gum bouncing away.

Chewing gum is an essential part of the way I live.  It is one of the most effective ways I know to get the taste of school out of your system.  I use its sharp peppermint or spearmint flavour in the mouth in much the same way as a squirt of alcohol heavy eau de toilette under the chin can revivify a jaded attitude towards life!

As everything has its price, the pieces of the (sugar-free) coating look like particularly aggressive dandruff on the seat.  The vacuum cleaner was bought specifically for in-car disasters such as this and therefore it was with a certain degree of smugness that I helped the cleaner free of its fiendishly snugly packed box.  And found that the machine only worked after it had been charged from the mains.  Defeat of stout party!

The wretched machine is now charging (for 24 hours according to the instruction booklet) and will have to live at home (much like Spanish men) and have an occasional jolt (much like Spanish men) and then be set to work (unlike Spanish men at the moment with “admitted” unemployment figures of 40% for the young and over 20% for the population as a whole).

Today has been an odd one as Toni has been accompanying his very young nephews to a fun park some way down the coast.  This was a “present” for him – thus giving a new meaning to the act of giving!  As it is now 10.30 pm I can only assume that the “fun” goes on and on!

Meanwhile my umpteenth generation I-pod is proving to be a very intelligent purchase as it is so small that using it is nothing more than fitting the earphones into the ear and enjoying.  The eclectic mix of music that it serves on its shuffle setting is constantly unsettling – which is a good thing.  Isn’t it?  Well, it works for me.  Mozart has just given way to Britten – and why not!

Tomorrow is packing day, and consequently a day replete with misery.