The first day of the month; the first day of my holiday “real” and, as I fear most days will start for the foreseeable future, a quick check of the Teachers’ Pensions website.
This excellent institution has a facility to allow those gasping for what is laughingly called financial security in these times of economic eventfulness, to check the progress of their claim.
According to the graphics on the website in the few days that they have had my form which was completed on the internet the claim has made 60% progress. There but two more steps according to the graphic before my claim is complete and the money can start dribbling into my account.
The progress of the claim is marked by a ‘progress bar’ which is filled in as it, um, progresses. And this is where my enthusiasm and belief both come to an abrupt stop.
How many times have computer users sat in front of a screen which is giving them encouraging information about how quickly a program is loading and then found themselves grinding their teeth in impotent rage as the whole system seems to go to sleep!
You use your logic to tell yourself that if 50% of the program has loaded in ten seconds then another ten seconds should see the whole thing ready to run. But it is that last 50% or more usually the last 10% where stasis comes into its own!
There is something dreadfully mesmerizing and totally frustrating in staring at a rotating stylized hour glass. I wonder just how much of one’s life will be (and has already been) spent staring at little graphics telling you (or kidding you) that something is happening.
Ever since the beginning I have been a user – in computer terms I mean, before you jump to the conclusion that I am making some sort of philosophical confession. Machine Code was always gibberish to me and Basic was the engaging language Tarzan might have used if he had met Mac rather than Jane in the process of his entering the world of electronic civilization.
I wasted a great deal of time in the early days of “A BBC B in every school” learning how to program the damn thing. I never did advance beyond a program which asked you to enter your name (with much use of dollar and hash signs) and was approving if the input was ‘Stephen’ but dismissive if it was anything else. I can still remember the important words of this type of programming: IF, PRINT, THEN, LET, BE, GOTO. And I think that I have a little poem concrete going there! I particularly like the Shakespearean admonition with which it ends!
So the end results of my cogitations is that I am both impressed because I want to be with 60% progress in a few days, but also depressed by the fact that 40% is still to be completed.
The Pensions people know that the last day on which I had gainful employment in teaching in the UK was on the 31st of August 2006, but they don’t know that officially. There is a form with a designation similar to that of Doctor Who’s mechanical pet which they should have received from my last employer.
Which in their case they have not got.
Even more worryingly the web site states that they have everything they need to complete the calculations for my pension. As I am convinced that the so-called 60% progress so far is purely mechanical I fear what is going to happen when an actual person begins to check to see if there is any way in which the miserly amount to be paid out can be restricted even further: I dread the living rather than the silicon check before the final button is pressed.
At least I will have a job next year and I will not be wholly dependent on the amount of money lavished on me by a grateful government. That will not happen for another five years!
In spite of it being holiday I did actually go in to Barcelona to take my pupils for his individual lesson. English conversation it is not, but I expect that this will improve slowly.
I gave him a copy of The Week and told him to read though the arts information and give me his opinion. I think that I may have to resort to my visual dictionary to find vocabulary of places like “The Theatre” and “The Recording Studio” to get things back on to some sort of academic level! We seem to get to subjects and need to use vocabulary at a level which is not comfortable for him in English or for me in Spanish!
I paid my car insurance today. Every day of the holiday must see me complete or be in the process of completing some of the long list of tasks that I have set myself. I am sure that this resolve might see the week out.
This excellent institution has a facility to allow those gasping for what is laughingly called financial security in these times of economic eventfulness, to check the progress of their claim.
According to the graphics on the website in the few days that they have had my form which was completed on the internet the claim has made 60% progress. There but two more steps according to the graphic before my claim is complete and the money can start dribbling into my account.
The progress of the claim is marked by a ‘progress bar’ which is filled in as it, um, progresses. And this is where my enthusiasm and belief both come to an abrupt stop.
How many times have computer users sat in front of a screen which is giving them encouraging information about how quickly a program is loading and then found themselves grinding their teeth in impotent rage as the whole system seems to go to sleep!
You use your logic to tell yourself that if 50% of the program has loaded in ten seconds then another ten seconds should see the whole thing ready to run. But it is that last 50% or more usually the last 10% where stasis comes into its own!
There is something dreadfully mesmerizing and totally frustrating in staring at a rotating stylized hour glass. I wonder just how much of one’s life will be (and has already been) spent staring at little graphics telling you (or kidding you) that something is happening.
Ever since the beginning I have been a user – in computer terms I mean, before you jump to the conclusion that I am making some sort of philosophical confession. Machine Code was always gibberish to me and Basic was the engaging language Tarzan might have used if he had met Mac rather than Jane in the process of his entering the world of electronic civilization.
I wasted a great deal of time in the early days of “A BBC B in every school” learning how to program the damn thing. I never did advance beyond a program which asked you to enter your name (with much use of dollar and hash signs) and was approving if the input was ‘Stephen’ but dismissive if it was anything else. I can still remember the important words of this type of programming: IF, PRINT, THEN, LET, BE, GOTO. And I think that I have a little poem concrete going there! I particularly like the Shakespearean admonition with which it ends!
So the end results of my cogitations is that I am both impressed because I want to be with 60% progress in a few days, but also depressed by the fact that 40% is still to be completed.
The Pensions people know that the last day on which I had gainful employment in teaching in the UK was on the 31st of August 2006, but they don’t know that officially. There is a form with a designation similar to that of Doctor Who’s mechanical pet which they should have received from my last employer.
Which in their case they have not got.
Even more worryingly the web site states that they have everything they need to complete the calculations for my pension. As I am convinced that the so-called 60% progress so far is purely mechanical I fear what is going to happen when an actual person begins to check to see if there is any way in which the miserly amount to be paid out can be restricted even further: I dread the living rather than the silicon check before the final button is pressed.
At least I will have a job next year and I will not be wholly dependent on the amount of money lavished on me by a grateful government. That will not happen for another five years!
In spite of it being holiday I did actually go in to Barcelona to take my pupils for his individual lesson. English conversation it is not, but I expect that this will improve slowly.
I gave him a copy of The Week and told him to read though the arts information and give me his opinion. I think that I may have to resort to my visual dictionary to find vocabulary of places like “The Theatre” and “The Recording Studio” to get things back on to some sort of academic level! We seem to get to subjects and need to use vocabulary at a level which is not comfortable for him in English or for me in Spanish!
I paid my car insurance today. Every day of the holiday must see me complete or be in the process of completing some of the long list of tasks that I have set myself. I am sure that this resolve might see the week out.
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