Although I did manage to stop myself from saying, “I knew it!” and “I told you so!” I could not refrain from a “Every bloody year!” as the computer system which takes in all the results for the grand meeting this evening crashed.
I am not good at coping with screen freezing as it takes me back to the black night many years ago when my Sinclair QL, on which I was typing the final version of a long external exam paper which had to be handed in to the external moderator the next morning, froze. I finally got to bed in the late early hours of the morning and refreshed by a single hour’s sleep after retyping the whole thing I went to school a not very happy bunny.
The programme which we had to use to load the final examination results actually (rather cheekily) allowed me to assume that everything was going to be fine. It encouraged me to start typing in the results with growing confidence and then, at the point when I knew that all the results were going to be in place by the stipulated time – stasis.
The misery was slightly ameliorated by the presence of a charming member of the maths department whose frustration matched my own – but she was rather more decorous in showing it! In a welter of mystifying Spanish but clearly communicated facial grimaces she expressed in a most eloquent way the teacher’s lack of faith in all hi-tec equipment which invariably fails at the point when you need it most.
Needless to say I found another way of getting what I wanted by going snivelling to the bursar who has a way with computers. Who failed. But then suggested that I enter the information directly on the server. Which I did and the job was done. I wonder what the rest of my colleagues are doing as their levels of homicidal frustration reach critical mass and they try and vent their feelings on some inanimate (or indeed animate) object in their vicinity!
I have lost one of my free periods (par for the course) and I will try and harness what reserves of placidity (!) I possess to manage the horror of the meeting this evening.
I have now lost another free and the meeting is going to start while I am engaged with yet another class. They are starting to discuss a year I don’t teach (the only one) and then go on to our classes. There is a horror scenario where I am left in charge of two classes while the Spanish/Catalan speaking English teacher slopes off to join the misery of inconsequential talking. The day is developing well! And it’s only 11 am so far!
Our hopes for the fabled “school” that we had hoped to found seem further away than ever. The discussions and the expectations have been interesting but everything founders on the simple necessity for money. We are beginning to doubt that anything can be done in spite of the fact that our proposal fills a real need and we are convinced that it would be a success. But, and it’s a big but, not only is money in short supply but also time (in all sorts of ways) is running out. At least I can comfort myself with the fact that I have always regarded the founding of the “school” as an amusing pastime or a mild curiosity rather than an essential reality. Even if everything was in our favour at this moment (and it isn’t) it would take at least two or three years to set up a school and . . .
Perhaps, out of sheer spite, I will turn my attention back onto the School That Sacked Me. There must be something to learn there by observing an institution which is not fit for purpose; which ignores rules and regulations; which has no recognizable curriculum; which treats teachers with contempt; which had educational standards which would prompt any inspectors to put it in special measures and - what is the point of going on! In spite of its manifest failures it opens its doors year after year and pretends to be a school – and people pay real money to send their children there! If such a place can exist, so the logic goes, then how much more welcome would be a school which actually tried to be a real educational institution! But such thoughts merely lead to madness!
I am concentrating on the end of term, visits, wine tastings and getting my library in some sort of real order. I have started making lists of What I Am Going To Do During The Summer.
Not a good sign!
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