Man or machine?

I would that I could remember how to apply the Turing Test.

This wish has been prompted by the service that I have recently received from Amazon. I saw, and was intrigued by reviews of David Starkey’s latest book on the youth of Henry VIII, “Henry, Virtuous Prince” and decided to buy.

Amazon has an evil little function that you can turn on when you visit the web site which gives you ‘one touch’ buying capability. To those who have shunned this invention of the Devil Incarnate, I must explain that, having put all your information into the clutches of Amazon, you can sign on and with a mere touch of the mouse purchase what you want. Nothing more to do! All the information is there, bank details, address, so within seconds you get a confirmatory email telling you that what a second before you clicked on is on its way!

The first couple of time you use it there is a sense of exhilaration as you realize that the world of consumerism is only a click away! The need to think about what you are doing is, dangerously, taken away from you and there is a sudden feeling that any purchase is possible and indeed desirable and it’s all so easy. So easy! Thank god that some sort of residual mental financial safety switch cuts in to stop me from indulging as I would wish.

Having bought the book in my ‘one click’ way I was informed that I could be eligible for ‘express’ delivery; I investigated this option and before I knew where I was I found that, somehow or ever, I had purchased an express delivery option for a vast sum of money. The delivery charge was now four pounds more expensive than the bloody book! Hoist by my own eager fingers!

The attempts I made to cancel the purchase were ineffectual. The order was being processed within seconds and therefore unable to be rescinded. Within those same few seconds I also received a confirmation email from Amazon telling me that my order was prepared and on its way!

I felt very sulky and not really in the position to appreciate Starkey’s prose with so much superfluous money expended on getting it to me!

So I wrote a letter. An email from Outraged of Castelldefels! It took me a while to find any email address that actually wanted to receive an email, but I eventually sent it and got a reply within a suspiciously short time.

This is how we get back to the Turing test. Who or what actually answered my email? The response was very positive with the whole of my postage being refunded and a little bit more, but who was there. It was far too quick to have been decided by a human, I suspect that it was a machine – but how can you tell?

I sent a reply email to Amazon to thank them for their prompt and generous reply and got a ‘thank you’ note which was just this side of literate, written (surely) not by a human. But how can you tell?

I am left wondering how far we have gone down the machine/human line of confusion.

Turing should be here to help!