One of the many things that I despise about Windows is that it makes executive decisions without reference to the poor user who has paid out good folding money for computer and programs that work in ways known only to God and Bill Gates. I never know if that juxtaposition is an example of oxymoron or tautology.
This time the program suggested that every word that I was using was incorrectly spelled and emphasised this by underlining each word so I could make my adjustments. As my spelling can sometimes exhibit wayward propensities, my confidence can be knocked by the merest wisp of a suggestion of doubt about my orthography. Having the whole of my typing dissed by the puissant omniscience of Microsoft Word was daunting to say the least.
The underlining of a word like ‘forestalling’ suddenly makes you think that you must have it wrong. After all, you reason to yourself, have I ever actually written the word before? When I last read it (how long ago was that?) did it have a different spelling from the instinctive one that I used? You then try other spellings, all of which look wrong. Then, after a while, all the alternative spellings start to look right. Then you think to yourself, well, I have a wide vocabulary, I’ll use another word. Then even your simpler alternative words are underlined. You begin to doubt your ability to communicate. Your world is falling apart.
Then salvation reveals itself.
The program has decided, unilaterally, to use a Spanish dictionary instead of the English one and, most cunningly, doesn’t let you know that it has changed and is now reading all your English words as poor spellings of Spanish ones!
I remember one person writing about the recent developments in cars and computers and comparing them. He said that if cars had developed at the same rate as computers and kept pace in terms of price as well, then today you would be able to buy the equivalent of a Rolls Royce for the price of a bicycle but that it would also stand a reasonable chance of exploding for no apparent reason.
Someone else wrote that if cars were sold with the same number of fundamental faults that quite ordinary programs have when released for general sale, the car manufacturers would never be out of the courts being sued for gross negligence.
Anyway I eventually noticed a few words at the bottom of the screen which indicated Spanish rather than English as the dictionary of choice (which explained all the underlined words) and I was able to double tap and get back to normal.
But still the nagging question of how it changed disturbs me. If that can change, what else is going on that I do not know about? Who or what is operating my machine? This is not a rant of a conspiracy theorist but the reasoned thoughts of someone who has known too many inconsistencies, faults, failures, inexplicable shifts in programs and momentary glitches for comfort.
Lunch today with Caroline and the usual conversational peregrinations through a variety of topics: easy talk at its leisurely best. I look forward to our next in a fortnight’s time.
Caroline displayed a tendency which she herself described as ‘Luddite’ about computers. This gave me the opportunity to wax lyrical about yet another Achilles’ heel: my infatuation with machines electrical. It turns out that Caroline’s computer is not performing at its best and it further turns out that Caroline has not been housekeeping and god alone knows what is lurking on her computer. Being the helpful sort of person that I am I immediately said that I had gone through a recent searing experience when my computer developed an illness which seemed to indicate that all the information (When did YOU last backup your files?) that I had stored on it would be lost. It took a few days but a saviour appeared and managed to save most of it and restore the operating system so that it, well, operated. I also said that I would try and find the card which I knew I had and send her the information about this professional electronic Samaritan.
This is almost always a disaster. It is a lose/lose situation: you won’t find the card and will feel bad with yourself and your lack of organizational effectiveness; you will feel bad about building up the hope of a friend only to have to dash the expectations by sad incompetence.
It was therefore with something approaching despair that I started the via dolorosa of drawer to cupboard to shelf to ledge to table in the vain hope of finding a small sliver of cardboard with the all important number on it. I should at this point emphasise that my PDA (palm top computer) has a faulty battery and it has proved to be impossible to replace it in this part of Spain. That would have been where I would have stored the address in the old days. These days meant that I had to find the original card or give it up as a bad job.
As in all the most clichéd stories I did find it in the last drawer of the last chest of drawers which was the last place in which it could be.
As in all the most clichéd stories I did also find two things that I have been looking for in a fairly desultory fashion for the last week.
All things work together for good in this best of all possible worlds!
I must now go and cultivate my garden.
This time the program suggested that every word that I was using was incorrectly spelled and emphasised this by underlining each word so I could make my adjustments. As my spelling can sometimes exhibit wayward propensities, my confidence can be knocked by the merest wisp of a suggestion of doubt about my orthography. Having the whole of my typing dissed by the puissant omniscience of Microsoft Word was daunting to say the least.
The underlining of a word like ‘forestalling’ suddenly makes you think that you must have it wrong. After all, you reason to yourself, have I ever actually written the word before? When I last read it (how long ago was that?) did it have a different spelling from the instinctive one that I used? You then try other spellings, all of which look wrong. Then, after a while, all the alternative spellings start to look right. Then you think to yourself, well, I have a wide vocabulary, I’ll use another word. Then even your simpler alternative words are underlined. You begin to doubt your ability to communicate. Your world is falling apart.
Then salvation reveals itself.
The program has decided, unilaterally, to use a Spanish dictionary instead of the English one and, most cunningly, doesn’t let you know that it has changed and is now reading all your English words as poor spellings of Spanish ones!
I remember one person writing about the recent developments in cars and computers and comparing them. He said that if cars had developed at the same rate as computers and kept pace in terms of price as well, then today you would be able to buy the equivalent of a Rolls Royce for the price of a bicycle but that it would also stand a reasonable chance of exploding for no apparent reason.
Someone else wrote that if cars were sold with the same number of fundamental faults that quite ordinary programs have when released for general sale, the car manufacturers would never be out of the courts being sued for gross negligence.
Anyway I eventually noticed a few words at the bottom of the screen which indicated Spanish rather than English as the dictionary of choice (which explained all the underlined words) and I was able to double tap and get back to normal.
But still the nagging question of how it changed disturbs me. If that can change, what else is going on that I do not know about? Who or what is operating my machine? This is not a rant of a conspiracy theorist but the reasoned thoughts of someone who has known too many inconsistencies, faults, failures, inexplicable shifts in programs and momentary glitches for comfort.
Lunch today with Caroline and the usual conversational peregrinations through a variety of topics: easy talk at its leisurely best. I look forward to our next in a fortnight’s time.
Caroline displayed a tendency which she herself described as ‘Luddite’ about computers. This gave me the opportunity to wax lyrical about yet another Achilles’ heel: my infatuation with machines electrical. It turns out that Caroline’s computer is not performing at its best and it further turns out that Caroline has not been housekeeping and god alone knows what is lurking on her computer. Being the helpful sort of person that I am I immediately said that I had gone through a recent searing experience when my computer developed an illness which seemed to indicate that all the information (When did YOU last backup your files?) that I had stored on it would be lost. It took a few days but a saviour appeared and managed to save most of it and restore the operating system so that it, well, operated. I also said that I would try and find the card which I knew I had and send her the information about this professional electronic Samaritan.
This is almost always a disaster. It is a lose/lose situation: you won’t find the card and will feel bad with yourself and your lack of organizational effectiveness; you will feel bad about building up the hope of a friend only to have to dash the expectations by sad incompetence.
It was therefore with something approaching despair that I started the via dolorosa of drawer to cupboard to shelf to ledge to table in the vain hope of finding a small sliver of cardboard with the all important number on it. I should at this point emphasise that my PDA (palm top computer) has a faulty battery and it has proved to be impossible to replace it in this part of Spain. That would have been where I would have stored the address in the old days. These days meant that I had to find the original card or give it up as a bad job.
As in all the most clichéd stories I did find it in the last drawer of the last chest of drawers which was the last place in which it could be.
As in all the most clichéd stories I did also find two things that I have been looking for in a fairly desultory fashion for the last week.
All things work together for good in this best of all possible worlds!
I must now go and cultivate my garden.
Oh yes, before I forget, the title of this piece relates to the present that Toni gave me; but that is for another time and another place
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