Landing larceny!

Cataluña – Nochebuena – 2006

Trivia can be comforting but today it is out of place. Not, I hasten to add because of the proximity to the so-called Messiah’s so-called birthday, but rather because of our reception in Barcelona Airport yesterday.

An hour’s wait in the queue in the airport departures at Bristol was paradoxically better than expected after the first horrific view of the interminable winding line of people just inside the entrance to the airport terminal. To be fair to easyjet, by the imaginative use of expanding cattle grids people were given the illusion that the waiting queue was constantly moving and that destination was immanent. The departure time was still roughly the same as we expected before we left home.

This was, of course, an illusion.

The countdown to departure seemed to be tantalisingly close: we were given a minute by minute update towards boarding until the stated time arrived and a new notice of “more info soon” took its place and the cognoscenti realised that this was a euphemism for ‘delay’. It turned out only to be of an hour’s duration and, given the chaos that the totally unforeseen and unique occurrence of that unprecedented climatic condition known as ‘fog’ had precipitated in Britain, we counted ourselves as fortunate!

The fortune stopped in Barcelona airport as we were waiting for Toni’s family to come and pick us up and take us to Terrassa.

It was when Toni’s elder sister arrived with his brother-in-law that the horror of our situation was revealed. “Where,” Toni asked in all innocent enquiry, “is my back pack?”

The back pack with the new DVD camera; old video camera; ipod; identity card; plane tickets; wallet; present for cousin’s step daughter; money; credit cards; debit cards; keys to two houses; “and much cattle”? That back pack?

I could do a Dickensian peon of sorrow on the word ‘gone’ just as he did in ‘Bleak House’ on the word ‘dead’ when applied to Little Joe the crossings sweeper. But I won’t.

Toni was devastated by the loss of virtually all his electronic equipment – thank God he left his laptop at home!

How It Was Done.

Toni is convinced (and so am I) that we were targeted. As we were leaving the terminal door a thoroughly disreputable man (or, as Toni has it, a Moroccan)asked us if we wanted a taxi. We said that we didn’t and went and stood by the kerb waiting for Carmen.

While we were waiting a mad old woman came demanding money and when she was refused she became abusive and so naturally we turned to look at her.

We think that she was part of the scam to divert our attention so that the most vulnerable bag could be snatched. My computer case was also on the baggage trolley, but it was in the top receptacle and so would have been marginally more difficult to snatch. Toni’s back pack was sitting on top of the large cases and would merely have needed a swift continuous movement to take it.

Carlos and I, after the event, did what can only be described as a cursory and depressing search of the wastepaper bins in the immediate vicinity and a thoroughly despairing search of the mass of humanity milling around at one of the busiest times of the year for international travel.

Toni has remembered many circumstantial, but convincing, details which suggest to the point of certainty that the ideas above are true. This of course, doesn’t help very much with the realization that over a thousand pounds worth of kit has gone west.

The police were decorative but gave no hope of any positive outcome. They seemed far more concerned about making the photocopier work than actually doing some police work to find a bag containing a considerable amount of money’s worth of expensive equipment. To them, the be all and end all of the situation was to ensure that the paper work had been completed thoroughly and that all the requisite forms had been filled out, photocopied and had the official stamp applied. That done, so was their job.

Toni had to suggest recourse to the closed circuit television coverage of the area as a possible helpful element in the apprehension of the criminals. We left with the all important crime number, but no real expectation of further action.

I would be delighted to retract the previous paragraphs in thier entirety when the good are returned and the criminals apprehended; until then we were dealt with by paper pushers rather than proper policemen.

This event has cast a pall over the whole Christmas.

Toni will have to borrow money and rely on his passport as his form of identification – this is not normal for people who fully accept the imposition of an identity card.

The shuddering horror which accompanies the realization of the full extent of the bureaucratic shilly-shallying which will be the essential extra dirge to the ongoing requiem of replacement (rather like that sentence) doesn’t bear thinking about!

It seems like pointless pain to enumerate the occasions when Toni was going to use his camera to record unique moments in his nephew’s life, so I won’t. But you can’t stop thinking about it all and hating the hatred that you feel for the violation which is theft.

Of course there are compensations: Carmen’s cooking to name but three so far! Turron – which is compensation beyond; especially a particular type of dark chocolate with large nuts variety which is made in Heaven itself! And the expectation of flogging the log.

Surprisingly, this is not yet another euphemism for self abuse, but rather the quaint (if disturbing) tradition of Catalans on Christmas Eve to give each other presents, but only after having attacked a decorated log of wood which, in fear, then shits your present.

Caga Tio is the name of this magical log and it is a strong tradition in Catalonia. Believe me, this is tru;, it is too bizarre to make up, even in connection with a nation which always has a shitting figure (caganer) crouching somewhere in a nativity scene. For the now, frankly incredulous, I refer you to the following link: http://www.dr-science.org/wiki/Caganer for further edifying detail. If you still have doubts about the shitting log (Caga Tio) then I suggest you watch an illuminating film at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFXtHrKdKWI

Such are the folk among whom I am going to spend the next two weeks!

If I’m still writing trivia at the end of this time, at least it will be exotic trivia!