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Friday, June 13, 2008

What do I do now?


There is something very wrong with the feeling that you are being outwitted by a half wit.

As far as I can tell I have now entered the endgame of my link with the school. I am no longer able to tell whether I am in control of the situation or whether I am merely a toy bobbing about on the turbid waters of an emptying bath.

Having spoken to The Owner I am no more certain of my future in the bizarre school in which I am teaching than I was a week ago. The Owner and I have a ‘stand-offish’ approach to each other which does nothing to elucidate our relationship.

Strangely I have a more positive vision of my time in the school than I did a day ago. You have to understand that in my place a day is a very, very, very long time in educational terms.

Our day was taken up by an edict which stated that we would be in a sports centre for the morning.

I will not dwell on the legal problems which indicated that two members of staff would surely not be sufficient to take a hundred pupils anywhere. The fact that I have to type that statement to reassure myself that it is not a fragment of my delusional imagination is surely something which is a condemnation of the situation in which I am working at this moment in time. And, yes, I do know that the previous sentence is not one of my finest.

So the morning passed with the kids generally enjoying themselves and discovering the pleasures of the Jacuzzi.

All was sweetness and light until we had to go back to school. We had had enough difficulty in persuading administration that the proportion of 1 to 10 for primary was a prerequisite for safe transportation to the sports centre. It was even more difficult in persuading them that the same proportions were necessary for the journey back to the school.

For non teachers everything that I am saying is unimportant, but for educationalists it is essential. “This is a legal necessity” can be a salutary reminder that there are higher rules than an encouraging reassurance from the administration of a school that does not subscribe to the basic necessities of legal requirements.

Today, I should say, has been trying. Trying in all the wrong ways.

I am a teacher. If you ask me to do something in the right way that I am far more likely to say “yes” than refuse. After all, we are constantly presented with the welfare of the kids that we teach as a major reason for our existence, either by ourselves or the administration which directs our educational efforts. That ‘welfare’ is a major bargaining chip in the lottery that is the education of the young. We teachers are suckers for the ‘welfare’ play. We always give in.

In state education you can kid yourself that your efforts are for the general good. In private education it is much more difficult to find a justification in the same way.

I truly do not know what I am doing in this school. I truly do not know what I could do in this school. I truly do not know what I could be allowed to do in this school.

Perhaps I should be out of it.

It is on ongoing question.

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